Funny Tweets from Twitter

Why won't people just publish the truth on Twitter? It's so much funnier! Here are some awesome tweets from that hated enemy, Twitter.

  

"I Tweeted a girl and she liked it! I Tweeted your mom too -- twice."

"Why did Evan Williams cross the road? A: So that he could waste the world's time shouting boring, personal information to the passing cars."

"You love Kate Gosselin or you have "made love" to her? A lot of people can say the latter, not many the former."
 
You're gonna need "plus 8" to date Kate Gosselin. Her vagina has passed more kids than a playground slide. 

Kate Gosselin -- so much of a horse face that you want to giver her a carrot and lump of sugar.

Kate Gosselin: Be truthful, who knows the names of all eight of her kids? Hint: sleepy, dopey, and bashful aren't correct answers.

Time to wake up and tell people about your empty life via Twitter.

Kate Gosselin -- evidence that every trailer park girl can grow up and have her own T.V. show!

Kate Gosselin -- maybe if I tweet empty suck up comments about her, I'll get them retweeted up too!

Kate Gosselin -- when a white girl has 8 kids, they make a T.V. show. When a Mexican girl does, they complain about the welfare system.

Kate Gosselin & DJ Keemstar dating? I'm dating the fat girl down the street? Why do people care about one and not the other?

KateGossilin I never watched your show, think you have too many kids, and can't believe the kind of jerk you used to sleep with.

Kate Gosselin: who cares, who cares, who cares, . . . infinity + 1.

  

If you follow people b/c they have a picture of a cute girl in their profile #thatsaproblem b/c it's actually a 45 year old dude.

If you use Twitter for reasons other than boredom or to spam out links #thatsaproblem b/c it means that you have no life!

  

#thistweetisdedicated2 #thatsaproblem The internet: the only place where you get Loled for making fun of Jesus but banned for Evan Williams

#thistweetisdedicated2 #thatsaproblem Is Evan Williams gay? The world may never know!

  

If you use Twitter as a dating service #thatsaproblem because it's evenly divided between spambots, pornbots, and 12 month inactive tweeters

  

If you follow celebrities on Twitter #ThatsAProblem b/c they don't follow you, don't care about you, and have staffers write their Tweets.

  

If you spend more than 1 hour per year on Twitter #thatsaproblem because it show your lack of social skills and social life.

Twitter: the retarded, ugly, slutty, gay-loving, product-of-an-incestuous-relationship, step-sister of Facebook.

When is the last time you had someone click on a link you tweeted? That's how much they care!

Take two parts pornographer, one part spammer, 30 million lonely people, and programmers with too much time and what do you get? A: Twitter

Evan Williams: Nobody ever thought the world could produce something more irrelevant than a chat room. You proved them wrong!

Twitter == Friendster in 5 years time. Never heard of Friendster? Exactly my point!

  

Even if you're cool on Twitter, you're still lame in real life.

Twitter auto-follow software and anti-spam software: sold from the same business based in Canton, Ohio! Thanks, Twitter!

That hot picture? A: Your Mom 20 years ago. The person behind it? A: Your Dad trolling for 15 year old boys. Ain't Twitter great?

  

I spit on the grave of the grandmother of the creators of Twitter!

Block my account, eh Twitter? Well, flock you!

Twitter is for h0rny guys and marketers with profiles with a pic of a cute girl looking to spam them.

twitter is for jerks with no life who want people to care about what they do.

  

I hate Twitter more than I hate green bean casserole, and I hate green bean casserole.

Twitter management == Na$i stooges.

I hate the people managing Twitter. I believe that they're closet Republicans.                             

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