Thursday, July 15, 2010

Funny Tweets from Twitter





Why won't people just publish the truth on Twitter? It's so much funnier! Here are some awesome tweets from that hated enemy, Twitter.


"I Tweeted a girl and she liked it! I Tweeted your mom too -- twice."

"Why did Evan Williams cross the road? A: So that he could waste the world's time shouting boring, personal information to the passing cars."






"You love Kate Gosselin or you have "made love" to her? A lot of people can say the latter, not many the former."
 
You're gonna need "plus 8" to date Kate Gosselin. Her vagina has passed more kids than a playground slide. 

Kate Gosselin -- so much of a horse face that you want to giver her a carrot and lump of sugar.

Kate Gosselin: Be truthful, who knows the names of all eight of her kids? Hint: sleepy, dopey, and bashful aren't correct answers.

Time to wake up and tell people about your empty life via Twitter.

Kate Gosselin -- evidence that every trailer park girl can grow up and have her own T.V. show!

Kate Gosselin -- maybe if I tweet empty suck up comments about her, I'll get them retweeted up too!

Kate Gosselin -- when a white girl has 8 kids, they make a T.V. show. When a Mexican girl does, they complain about the welfare system.

Kate Gosselin & DJ Keemstar dating? I'm dating the fat girl down the street? Why do people care about one and not the other?

KateGossilin I never watched your show, think you have too many kids, and can't believe the kind of jerk you used to sleep with.

Kate Gosselin: who cares, who cares, who cares, . . . infinity + 1.






If you follow people b/c they have a picture of a cute girl in their profile #thatsaproblem b/c it's actually a 45 year old dude.

If you use Twitter for reasons other than boredom or to spam out links #thatsaproblem b/c it means that you have no life!


#thistweetisdedicated2 #thatsaproblem The internet: the only place where you get Loled for making fun of Jesus but banned for Evan Williams

#thistweetisdedicated2 #thatsaproblem Is Evan Williams gay? The world may never know!


If you use Twitter as a dating service #thatsaproblem because it's evenly divided between spambots, pornbots, and 12 month inactive tweeters


If you follow celebrities on Twitter #ThatsAProblem b/c they don't follow you, don't care about you, and have staffers write their Tweets.


If you spend more than 1 hour per year on Twitter #thatsaproblem because it show your lack of social skills and social life.

Twitter: the retarded, ugly, slutty, gay-loving, product-of-an-incestuous-relationship, step-sister of Facebook.




When is the last time you had someone click on a link you tweeted? That's how much they care!

Take two parts pornographer, one part spammer, 30 million lonely people, and programmers with too much time and what do you get? A: Twitter

Evan Williams: Nobody ever thought the world could produce something more irrelevant than a chat room. You proved them wrong!

Twitter == Friendster in 5 years time. Never heard of Friendster? Exactly my point!


Even if you're cool on Twitter, you're still lame in real life.

Twitter auto-follow software and anti-spam software: sold from the same business based in Canton, Ohio! Thanks, Twitter!

That hot picture? A: Your Mom 20 years ago. The person behind it? A: Your Dad trolling for 15 year old boys. Ain't Twitter great?


I spit on the grave of the grandmother of the creators of Twitter!

Block my account, eh Twitter? Well, flock you!

Twitter is for h0rny guys and marketers with profiles with a pic of a cute girl looking to spam them.

twitter is for jerks with no life who want people to care about what they do.




I hate Twitter more than I hate green bean casserole, and I hate green bean casserole.

Twitter management == Na$i stooges.

I hate the people managing Twitter. I believe that they're closet Republicans.                             



 Hot Twitter Girl:

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16 comments:

  1. ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Not lol but amusing :) and how cool are u we clicked
    On ur link ..... Oooh my bad I
    Have no life :D

    ReplyDelete

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