Friday, April 29, 2011

5 Reasons Why NES Was The Best Console Ever

Picture of an US-American Nintendo Entertainme...Image via Wikipedia
Back in the days before game consoles used huge graphics cards as a crutch, game programmers had to actually put effort into making games fun. Such was the case with the original NES game system. Thus, without further ado, here are five reasons why I think NES was the best game console ever.

1. They had Super Mario Brothers 3: Whether it was warp whistles or the tanooki suit, this video game was one of the best video games ever made. It just had a fun, easy, laid back style of play that you just don't see in most of the games today (except for the latter games in the Mario series on the Wii).

2. It was the only show in town: Today, people have all kinds of options available to them for entertainment. Back when the NES was in full swing, the options for entertainment were a lot more limited. Sure, the NES can't compete with the X-Box, but imagine how fun the console was when your only other options were local TV (cable if you were lucky) and -- the horror -- going outside. That alone was enough to propel the NES into the realm of instant nostalgia.

3. The games were more diverse/creative: The trend in video games over the past 10 years or so has been to make releases increasingly like a Hollywood production: big budget, lots of special effects, and a formula that producers more or less know will work. With the NES games back in the day, you had games all over the place: questing games with Zelda, fighting games with Mike Tyson Boxing and Double Dragon, and running and jumping games with The Simpsons vs. The Aliens and the Mario series. It was kind of like the Sundance festival of gaming.

4. The NES was a pioneer: Arguably Atari and the game Space Invaders deserve this honor. But, at the same time, Atari really didn't forge the whole home video gaming industry in the same way that NES did. Prior to NES, having a game console was something like having a ham radio or a bug collection -- cool but still rare. After NES, having a video game console became a lot more like having a TV.

5. Because I said so: Look, it's my article, and I can declare it the best game console of all time if I want. If you disagree, leave me a comment telling me why.
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Top Ten Predictions for The Office TV Series

Pam HalpertImage via Wikipedia
Since The Office, at least judging from what I saw last night, can't get too much worse in life, I decided to make some predictions for the top ten things that will happen in the next season. Leave a comment and tell me how close to reality I am.

1. Jim and Pam will divorce and Jim will declare his undying love for Oscar.

2. Will Farrell will spend approximately half of each episode farting uncomfortably close Stanley's face.

3. Michael will make several return cameos for each show, each time wearing a hat more outrageous than the last time.

4. Pam and Erin will appear topless in at least one episode, possibly while engaged in a Jello fight.

5. Each episode will have theme music composed by the Cleveland Philharmonic Orchestra. This will be performed loudly in the background as the characters drink vodka and beat small children.

6. Holly will be revealed to be a man pretending to be a woman and later a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman.

7. Erin will make out with Andy, Toby, Gabe, Darryl, Kevin, and Oscar as well as several unnamed guest stars.

8. Dialogue will now be written on the backs of wet napkins and handed to cast member exactly seven minutes before each scene is shot.

9. At least one cast member will wear a shirt during the filming of each episode.

10. Dwight will marry a 17 year old girl from Botswana through a mail order bride service.

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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Final Michael Episode of The Office: My Reaction

Michael Scott (The Office)Image via Wikipedia
I just wanted to write a short post today reacting to watching the final Michael Scott episode from the television series The Office. I have to admit that I was a big fan of the show early on, thought that the series hit it's peak around Seasons four and five (with the best episode of all time, in my opinion, being "Stress Relief" where Dwight Schrute does the fake fire drill) and kind of tapered off from there (especially with the Jim-Pam romance) and became unwatchable when that company that makes printers bought Dunder-Mifflin. However, I was curious to see the final episode with Michael,. Would the series actually make the exit funny and memorable, or would they produce a sappy, emotional piece of drivel?

It was pretty terrible.

As expected, almost the entire episode was devoted to an insipid and drawn out farewell between Michael and the rest of the coworkers in the office. A minute at the end of the episode is something I could excuse. Having nearly the entire episode devoted to this sappiness, however, was downright aggravating. One of the charms of The Office back when it originally started was that it involved a bunch of difficult people stuck together in an office and trying to find ways to avoid killing each other. Even after that element died out -- probably because the writers made the mistake of falling in love with their characters -- the sheer talent and charisma of Steve Carrell carried the series for a little while. But, to me, this silly cry-fest that the audience was subjected to tonight is evidence that the series should have ended a long time ago.

If the series has any chance of surviving a few more seasons, the writers need to take a serious step back and have the characters start disliking each other again. When I tune in, I want to see tension, sarcasm, and the discomfort that comes with people saying and doing things in situations that mimic those in real life. I don't want to see hugging.
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Monday, April 25, 2011

EAT THE RICH! -- Lying Sack of Crap

I am reposting this link from someone else's Facebook post, even though I don't want to give more publicity to these types of non sequitur types of arguments. Basically, if you don't want to be bothered watching the video, the lying sack of crap makes an argument where he takes the idea of greater taxation on the rich, corporations, etc. to an absurd extreme where we are taking "all" of the corporate profits, rich salaries, etc. for a single year -- "eating the rich".

Beyond being stupid because nobody that I know of is actually suggesting that, I fail to see the logical conclusion of his video. So, since taking 100% of all corporate profits, rich people's salaries for an entire year, etc. would supposedly tank the economy (something that could be argued, but I will let it stand for the moment), does that mean, in your estimation that it is unfair to make the rich pay MORE (but less than 100%) to support the country than the poor?

However, my main question is this, because I have frankly never understood it: how is it that corporations are able to convince the majority (the poor and middle class) to implement economic policies favorable to the minority (the rich) against the explicit economic self-interest of the majority?

For example, the spending cuts to Pell Grants, which cuts funding for nearly 9 million students too poor to pay for college on their own, passed in the last budget by both the Republicans and Obama could have been easily saved by simply letting the Bush tax cuts on the wealthy lapse. However, whenever the idea of raising the taxes on the rich gets proposed, a bunch of jackasses like this guy and the Tea Baggers get on the internet, television, Fox News, etc. and start spreading the type of blatant misinformation and non sequitur logic present in this video. Think about it: Pell Grants are directly beneficial to poor people trying to go to college, many of whom STILL ROUTINELY vote for politicians who vote to cut funding to the program. How on earth does this happen?

If someone could explain the type of thinking that goes on here, I would very much appreciate it, because the mindset has always baffled me.
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Thursday, April 21, 2011

Arizona Redneck Videos: Economy,anti-Redneck Discrimination, Illegal Immigration, Obama

If you haven't checked out these videos before, a character actor by the name of Moppix does some hilarious impersonations of racist "rednecks" from Arizona on his Youtube channel. Below, I have included his videos of the "redneck philosophy" about the economy, discrimination (against rednecks), illegal immigrants, and Obama. In any case, check out all of the videos below.

1. First, here is his take on the economy:

2. His video on discrimination against rednecks:

Here is his video about illegal imigration:

His video about Obama:

If you have ever found yourself saying any of the things on this video WITHOUT joking, please do the world a favor and don't pass on your seed to the next generation. Thanks.
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"Weird Al" Yankovic - Lady Gag - Perform This Way: Controversy

Even though the word on the street is that this video may have been approved by Lady Gaga now, there was some initial controversy between regarding his parody of her song "Perform This Way". As a professional courtesy, Yankovic seeks approval from all artists before publishing parodies of their songs. Most artists take it as a sign that they have "arrived" in the world of music. However, in the case of Gaga, she refused permission for him to publish the song after Al sent her a recording. Technically, her permission is something Al doesn't even technically need under the copyright laws in order to release the song because its a parody. However, he usually hold off releasing the songs (at least for money) anyway as a professional courtesy, and he decided to release the video on Youtube instead.

What was the reason for Gaga's refusal? Your guess is as good as mine; although, I am sure that being too much of a prima donna has something to do with it.

The video is below.

While I think that the video is good, I think Lady Gaga is more of a parody just walking around breathing than Yankovic could ever make in a three minute song. It's just impossible to make this woman any more foolish than she already is.
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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Fat Girls Show off Baby Bump

Just like Natalie Portman, Melissa Rycroft, Kate Hudson, Jane Krakowsk, Pink, Laura Saltman, Jennifer Connelly, Rachel Zoe, Christina Applegate, Amy Poehler, and a whole bunch of other people you've never heard of who are Hollywood Stars, these fat chicks have decided to show off their baby bump to the world. Scroll down for pics.

As an aspiring nursing student at Stevens Hennigar and a part time Walmart stocker, this fat chick decided to strut her stuff on the red carpet and show off her emerging baby bump. "People as me all the time how I maintain my figure while pregnant," she reported. "I still get I.D.ed at bars."

Possibly the most anticipated pregnancy of the year comes from this fat girl, reportedly fathered by Tom Green. "I am so excited to be having a baby with Tom," the fat girl gushed. "The media exposure has been great for my career. I have already read three new scripts this month."

Another muffin topped girl having a baby was interviewed by Access Hollywood of Black Swan. "I just enjoy eating, okay? And, by the way, I AM NOT PREGNANT, YOU BASTARDS!"

And, a couple more gratuitous pics of fat girls.

Life is grand.

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5 Most Annoying Star Trek: The Next Generation Characters

Wesley CrusherImage via Wikipedia
5 Most Annoying Star Trek: The Next Generation Characters

If you're anything like me, you used to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation at some point during your past. And, if you're anything like me, you probably enjoyed the TV series overall. However, you also probably found many, if not most, of the characters annoying at one point or another. Here, for your viewining pleasure, I have assembled my personal list of the five most annoying Star Trek: The Next Generation characters. If you agree with me, disagree with me, or even if you just want to cuss me out, please leave your comments below.

1. Geordi La Forge: This guy has to be the single most grating character of the entire series. Whether it's his obnoxious high tech/low tech magical banana clip that he wears to see (and the obvious pandering towards advocates of the disabled this entails), his annoying voice, or the fact that he pines after women, this character takes the cake for most likely bitch slapped if living in the 21st century.

2. Wesley Crusher: What happens when you're a know-it-all only child who happens to have an in with the chief medical officer and the captain of the ship? You turn into a little brat. Frankly, when his mom sent him off with the alien pedophile posing as "The Traveler", I doubt many fans were sorry to see him go.

3. Warf: Apparently millions of years of evolution have advanced species to the point where they look strangely like humans, with the exception of sounding like they need to take a dump every time they talk. Such is the case with Warf, whos over-the-top man-angst and cheesy martial arts scenes dump him into the number three spot.

4. William Riker: Speaking of numbers, if your boss suddenly stopped using your name and started addressing you as a number, you would probably take that as a bad sign, right? Well, not so for this joker. In fact his melodrama and faux intensity is enough to make anyone want to stick the man's head in a porcelain bowl full of number one to shut him up.

5. Beverely Crusher: Only slightly less annoying than her effeminate son, this weirdo has all of the flavor of a 10 year old Triscut that's been coated in sawdust. I guess bland women really do turn the guys on, considering how much Patrick Stewart wants a piece of her nonexistent ass.

Honorable Mention: I briefly thought about sticking Deanna Troi on there somewhere, but she gets props for dressing slutty. Seriously, if I was ever in a counseling session with her, I would be like, "Uh huh, uh huh, yep, sure, sounds good, right, you guessed it, okay . . . please just take your clothes off." Also, if I had six spots, Guinan would go on there too.

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Monday, April 18, 2011

Disgusting -- 221 Million Dollar Apartments in London

Every so often, I think that humanity is actually going to make it, that we are going to grow past our savage stage. Then, I see videos like this one. Look at how rich assholes live in London, buying 10 to 221 million dollar apartments while over a billion people survive on less than a dollar per day.

This video makes me mad for a few reasons. First, there are people starving to death in the world, millions of them. 220 million would feed a lot of kids in Africa. Second, this is just conspicuous consumption at it's worst. Why can't these jerks live in a normal house like the rest of us? Third, and maybe the most offensive, the apartments in the video are just ugly. Look carefully when you watch the video. Is there anything in that apartment, anything at all, that looks like it's worth 221 million to you? If I am going to pay 221 million for anything, it better either have a super model that come with it, be made out of solid gold, or enable God to come visit me every day. And even then, the money could be better spent.
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Short Review of No Strings Attached Movie

Sex FriendsImage by jasonEscapist via Flickr
No Strings Attached

3 out of 5 stars

The movie No Strings Attached with Natalie Portmann and Ashton Kutcher is your typical Rom-Com. Short on plot but full of sexy shots of Natalie and Ashton, the movie is charming as far movies in the genre go. In this incarnation of the classic formula, Portmann plays Emma, an oversexed and commitment-phobic nurse who wants a casual sexual relationship ("No Strings Attached") with an aspiring movie set assistant, Adam. If you like Rom-Coms, this movie is for you. If not, take a pass.

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Cutest Cat Video Ever: Cat + Dolphin

On the surface, the idea of a cat and dolphin playing together seems counter-intuitive. After all, the one lives on land, and the other lives in the ocean. However, as this video proves, it can happen. Watch this video showing a dolphin playing with a house cat.

Maybe old George W. right: maybe humans and fish can coexist peacefully as well.
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Saturday, April 16, 2011

Crazy -- People Recreate Space Invaders Live -- Performance Art

What is the only thing cooler than the original Atari game Space Invaders? Having a bunch of live actors recreate the game in an auditorium as performance art! Check out this very cool video from Youtube where several performance actors recreate this classic video game.

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Friday, April 15, 2011

5 Fast Food Meals for under 3$

Fast Food Still Life #2Image by brtsergio via Flickr

5 Fast Food Meals for under 3$
If you’re anything like me (a poor college student), then you are probably always on the lookout for a cheap edible dinner from a fast food restaurant. Here, I give you five ideas for five decent fast food dinners you can eat for under three bucks each – a good deal by any definition. To be enjoyed as an occasional treat only.
I have ranked them in order from best to worst.
1.       KFC: Buffalo Sandwich, potato wedges and a drink combo: In my opinion, this really is the king among super cheap fast food meal deals. The sandwich is an excellent value, both size and taste wise, for the money, and the potato wedges are very filling. Best yet, it only comes in at about 750 calories – enough to fill you up without making you fat in the long run.
2.       Wendy’s:  Baked potato, small chili, and value drink: This is another good meal that I buy almost as much as the KFC deal. The baked potato makes a great quick meal, especially when topped with delicious chili. Better yet, the whole combo has only about 550 calories (if you hold the butter on the potato) and is probably slightly healthier for you than most fast food.
3.       Taco Bell: Three dollar gordita combo:  This is another solid option for a cheap but edible fast food meal. The Doritos add a nice kick to this meal, letting it beat out the number four entry.
4.       Wendy: Value size double stack combo: This is another nice and cheap option for someone looking for a value meal. Obviously, you could do this in several places, including Burger King and McDonalds. However, what pushes Wendy’s over the top here is their fries, which are just plain better than the competition’s fries.
5.       Del Taco: Six tacos and water: This is a decent option for anyone who really wants as much food for as low of a price as possible. In fact, it’s so much food that I can only eat about ½ of the tacos during a single trip, making it possible for me to turn this into a 1.50$  meal.

These meals, while cheap and edible are best only eaten about once or twice per week, and only if you’re eating lots of fresh fruit and vegetables in between. Still, in a pinch, they can be used to fill a stomach without depleting a pocket book.
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Cars crash into retractable poles in London

What happens when you have a system of retractable poles in the ground in London, United Kingdom that allow a bus driver to enter a street while keeping out the proletariat? A: Hilarity as the commoners wreck their cars on the street poles :) Watch this video and see.

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4 Reasons Why Tea Partiers Are Idiots:

4  Reasons Why Tea Partiers Are Idiots:

You’ve heard them on the radios; you’ve seen them on T.V. You’ve known them, you’ve lived among them, and (God forbid) you might even be one of them. But, do you know why they’re idiots? Here, I give you five reasons why members of the so called Tea Party movement are idiots.
1.       They hate the government: This has to be one of the stupidest arguments that Tea Partiers routinely make: “government doesn’t solve anything; it only makes the problem worse”. Oh really? So, you’re telling me that you don’t appreciate the government owned roads that you drive on for work every day, the government run police and fire stations that protect your house when you’re gone, the government military that prevents other nations from invading you, etc.? Give me a break.

Still not convinced? Well, let’s look at some other examples of countries with small government, say Somalia. How’s that working out for them?

2.       They like Glenn Beck: Or, specifically, they like Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, Michael Savage, Ron Paul, and a whole cadre of idiots who believe among other things that Barack Obama was born in Kenya the world was literally created in six days, and FEMA is running concentration camps.  Wow. Just wow.

3.       They hate taxing rich people: I have family members who are quite well off, including one household that makes over 150K per year, who live very comfortable lifestyles. However, even they don’t make enough money to pay more taxes if the Bush tax cuts are repealed. Yet, the Tea Party movement supports the repeal of these tax cuts, all under the guise of small government. Worse yet, they have duped tons of yokels into supporting this idea, very much against their own economic self interest. Again, wow.

4.       They cut spending needlessly: Let me explain. There are three main sources of discretionary government spending in this country (meaning after worker’s salaries have been paid, etc.): military, Social Security, and Medicare.  Between them, they account for like 80 or 90% of the budget annually. However, the whole focus of the Tea Partiers in balancing the budget is to cut programs like Pell Grants – spending that accounts for a tiny fraction (less than 1%) of the overall budget in the country annually. Bone heads.

What are your thoughts on this? Am I being too harsh? Leave your comments below.
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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

4 Kids under 5 Smoking Cigarettes and Marijuana

I just thought that I would share a compilation of videos with you about young kids smoking. It really is a sad world we live in sometimes. I've found some Youtube videos of 4 kids, all under 5 years old, smoking cigarettes or marijuana. Hopefully, this can be a resource to talk to your own kids, friends about the dangers of smoking.

1. Toddler in Indonesia smokes 2 packs per day

2. Three year old in China smokes and drinks liquor.

3. Three year old smokes pot from a bong and coughs.

4. Two year old smokes pot on camera

The parents are the only ones at fault here. When a kid is 16, sometimes they are hard to control. When a kid is two or three, the parents have complete control over them. The fact that they allow them to smoke is just a sign that they don't care at all about their kids.

What are your thoughts on this?
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Follow The City - Get On Down (Official Music Video)

I got this music video emailed to me by an aspiring hip hop artist from Atlanta. Honestly, I wasn't expecting much when I first got the video. However, to my surprise and excitement the video is pretty good. The girls in it are way hot, and the music is catchy. Also the post production and story line was done in a way that it cost some money and took some talent to put together, not like most of the crap you see out there that was done in somebody's basement in an hour.Overall, it was very quality, and if this guy keeps turning out songs like this one, he should go far in life.

If that guy is banging ANY of the girls in that video, he is a lucky, lucky man.

Enjoy and leave a comment letting me know what you think. Is this group the next big thing?

Follow The City - Get On Down (Official Music Video)">
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Saturday, April 9, 2011

Funny or Die Sucks: Review of 3 New Videos

Image representing Funny Or Die as depicted in...Image via CrunchBase
A while back on this blog, I wrote an entry about how the internet comedy series Funny or Die actually sucks and isn't very funny. However, I had a friend email me a link to some of their new videos so that I could do an updated review of the series. My updated opinion: Funny or Die is still hit or miss, with mostly misses and a very few mildly amusing hits. So, yeah, it still sucks. Scroll down for my review of the three new videos:

1.  Sequal to When Harry Met Sally:

In this sequal to When Harry Met Sally, a studio exec takes Billy Crystal's idea of making a sequel to the classical romantic comedy and turns it into a vampire movie renamed When Harry Bit Sally, Even though the idea is brilliant and Billy Crystal is one of my favorite all time comedians, the execution on the video seemed a little off. I thought the jokes were a bit forced (like the one where Crystal suddenly gets excited over a bloody handkerchief used for a circumcision) to somewhat gross (as when Crystal spits blood onto the window of a car without rolling it down). It felt like every other Funny or Die short I've ever seen -- good idea, lots of promise, poor execution, and poor comedic timing. It's still worth watching once, but it's not the type of video I'd post on Facebook or email to a friend.

2. Wax On, F*ck off with Ralph Macchio:

I actually found myself laughing a few times during this short, which is rare when I watch Funny or Die videos. The premise in this video is that Ralph Maccio (The Karate Kid) has to remake himself as a Hollywood bad boy to restart his movie career. The video has a few funny moments, like where he wants to make a sex tape with "no cuddling" at the end. Also, the scene where he is paying the hooker 50 bucks for a hug is pretty good. Even so, I still get this overall sense of pandering to stars from this video, just like every other Funny or Die video out there. I would also rate this one as a watch once video, with maybe a Facebook post if you have lots of Karate Kid fans in your family.

3. David Mamet's "Lost Masterpieces of Pornography"

Here is yet another video from Funny or Die that should have been funny, could have been funny, but wasn't. It had all of the elements: pretty girl, old guys, pornography lost since 1938 -- I guess those are all funny, right? The problem with this video is, like other Funny or Die videos, it just doesn't take itself seriously. The ideas are all right, the acting talent is there, but the execution is just off somehow.

I don't understand why Funny of Die isn't funny, I really don't. But, for some inexplicable reason, it isn't funny. So, yes, Funny or Die still sucks, unfortunately.

What do you think of Funny or Die?

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Thursday, April 7, 2011

5 Places to Watch Family Guy Online -- Free and Pay

The series main characters from left to right:...Image via Wikipedia
One of the most vexing problems in life when you really like a show is to not be able to find that show online and streaming. Such has been my problem lately with Family Guy. However, I have done the research (so you don't have to) and can suggest five places to watch Family Guy online, both free sites and ones where you have to pay to play.

1. Hulu Plus
Cost: Currently 7.99$ per month
Description: Hulu offers a streaming service for Family Guy and other popular T.V. shows for about 8 bucks per month. The video quality is excellent, the interface clean, and your 8 bucks buys you access to lots of other T.V. shows as well.
Recommended: If you're not broke

2.  Fox Online: Fox also offers a streaming service for some Family Guy episodes, mostly from the current season. The service is free, but the number of episodes are limited. Still, if you stay pretty current with the series and are just looking to catch an episode that you missed, this is probably the place to go.
Recommended: If you missed last week

3. This is one of the better maybe-legal-maybe-not sites out there to watch Family Guy on the computer. Even though the video quality is pretty good here, my objections to these sorts of sites are that 1) They have a butt load of ads and 2) They might not be there in a week. Still, if you're willing to sort through the annoying popups, this site is pretty good.
Recommended: If you don't mind ads

 4. Megavideo: This site is similar to but has less popups and worse video resolution. Again, if you are looking for a pirate site, this one is probably as good as any.
Recommended: If you don't care about resolution

 5. Amazon Video: This is a pay-per-episode service which will allow you to buy Family Guy on a per-episode basis. If you're really passionate about the series, or if you just have a favorite episode that you like to watch over and over, this is probably the place for you.
Recommended: If you want to buy the episodes

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Sunday, April 3, 2011

Joke: Murphy's Bar

Three Irish men were arguing one day about which bar was the finest in all of Ireland.

Said the first one: "McDougal's bar is the finest. There, you buy a drink, you buy a second drink, and McDougal buys you a third drink."

Said the second one: "It isn't so. O'Toole's Bar is the finest. At O'Toole's you buy a drink. He buys you a second drink. You buy a third drink, and he buys you a fourth drink."

Said the third: "No, Murphy's bar is the finest. There, Murphy buy you a drink. Then he buys you a second drink. Then he buys you a third drink, and then he takes you into the back and get you laid."

Said the first two: "Did this happen to you, old friend?"

Said the third: "No, but it happened to my sister."

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