Friday, July 16, 2010

Funny Or Die Not Funny: Lindsay Lohan

Yet another example of a Funny or Die video that's not funny, at all. This one is about Lindsay Lohan supposedly seeking love on Let me discuss some of the problems with this video.

First, girls like Lindsay Lohan don't need to find people to date. Lindsay could walk into a bar tomorrow (assuming she's not in jail) and have 10 guys hitting on her. It would be 60, except for the fact that she looks like she's 45 in the face (-20), probably has syphilis, chlamydia, and a couple of STD's previously only known in Malaysia (-15), is probably drunk and stoned enough to be vomiting on the floor (-10), and is only interested in hitting on girls (-5). Still, at least 10 guys in that bar would want to take Lindsay to bed, if only to score a crappy book deal worth 10K or so afterward.

Lindsay Lohan looking like a crack whore:

Second, everything that she says in the video to supposedly be a "parody" of herself is basically true. Lindsay Lohan is "a crazy redhead", is an "alcoholic in the state of Califonia" (and every other state, for that matter), and probably would "crash your car". If Lindsay wasn't Hollywood's and Perez Hilton's little darling (likely meaning that she's slept with a lot of producers and has pictures to prove it), she would probably be in jail, homeless, or a fetish slave to some dyke (Lindsay, that is). Instead, Lindsay can make a Youtube video, laughing about how much of a loser she is.

Instead of coddling idiots like Lindsay Lohan, Americans need to take her, and the rest of Hollywood and their bull crap, to task for subjecting us to this level of stupidity.

Lindsay Lohan when she was still pretty:

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