Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Haiti: Media Darling Since January 2010

Haiti. Why has the world seen such an "outpouring of aid" to this impoverished country? Is it out of concern for the country's people? Is it from the horror of the scenes shared with us by CNN? Is it a reaffirmation of the goodness of mankind?


However, let me suggest another reason, especially why the media has embraced the whole debacle.

Media bandwagoning.

When properly goaded by the media, it can serve as a source of enormous good for humanity (think of all those food programs to Africa). And, it's great that the United States and the rest of the world are helping Haiti. But, why now?

About two years ago Haiti was suffering through one of the worst food crisis in recent history. People were literally starving to death on the streets. During that time, I heard maybe one or two stories on the subject, period. However, now that the story has become the latest "in" thing, I don't stop hearing about it. At least, until its popularity falls.

And then . . .

Remember the Tsunami in Indonesia, Hurricane Katrina, or even the ongoing disasters in places like Darfur and Zimbabwe? No?


The media outlet have an attention span of about 5 days for any major story. Reaslistically, which story is more important: John Mayer's expose on the slutty lifestyles of the rich and famous in Hollywood or the deaths of millions of people in the world due to disease, starvation, and violence?

Which one are we likely to hear more about in the coming weeks? My guess: Mayer.

What can we do? Easy. Stop paying attention to people like Mayer. Hollywood celebrities are like like annoying foot itches. Ignore them, and they will probably go away in five minutes. Do anything, and they just become worse and you get your hands dirty.

Here are some videos of more important issues than John Mayer.

1. Haiti

2. Darfur

3. Zimbabwe

4. Malaria

5. Sexy John Mayer Pic

Monday, February 8, 2010

Peyton Manning needs a pick-me up

Peyton Manning needs some counseling. Future Twits is here to give it to him.

Peyton, we know it's hard to cope when everyone outside of the state of Indiana is rooting for you to choke in the Super Bowl and you deliver on those hopes.

But, hey, cheer up man.

So you threw a pick six while driving for the tying touchdown. Big deal. Don't you realize that you are a hero?

You know everyone -- from the drunken prostitute in that back alley near Bourbon Street to President Obama himself -- wanted you to fail. Certainly, the fans who watched your team mail it in the last two weeks of the regular season wanted you to fail.

Hell, even your own dad wanted you to fail.

It makes good press for the team from everyone's adopted Katrina-ravaged third-world city within America to get one glorious moment in the sun before we push New Orleans back into the shadows, focus on fixing Haiti -- or the next popular charitable cause -- and forget about the poor, hungry and dying in our own backyard. Nothing wrong with that. Politicians on both sides of the aisle will point to the moment where you threw that interception, just like the moment your teammates failed to recover an onside kick to open the second half, as the dawn of a better age for New Orleans.

At least for this week anyway.

So what if you don't get to make your SNL return or kick up your feet while knocking back a cold one in the White House? Cheer up dude. If you don't want to shake hands, we understand.

Remember, you've got millions of dollars, a super bowl ring and stupid ads about Oreo cookies with little bro Eli to fall back on. No one will take that away from you. The media still loves you. You are still the greatest QB to ever play the game . . .

or so ESPN tells us, anyway.


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