Friday, October 16, 2009

Uncle Obama Wants You . . . To Be Gay!!!

Obama is at it again. Not content with destroying our national economy, our health care system, and turning the children of the nation into communists, Obama has now decided to destroy the last moral bastion of our society -- the God given right of people everywhere to hate fags. During his most recent attempt to pander to their vote, he "backed up" Lady Gaga (had to be him -- no other guy would do it) by telling Sodomites everywhere that he would be proud to let gays into the military, to get boyfriends, if nothing else.

We here at Future Twits were able to capture the Twitters of all the Twits at that convention for later publication on our website. We've compiled this into a series of videos that we hope will spark some serious discussion about the issue.

1. Barack Obama comments on Ellen about the rally.

2. Barack political speech about gay rights.

3. More Barack gay activism

4. Muppets teach gay marriage to kids.

5. Westboro Baptist Church weighs in

6. Arkon University students debate gay rights

I hope that these videos have contributed to this important debate.

Silly faggots. Dicks are for chicks!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Homosexual Sweeds and the Nobel Peace Prize

Good ol' Hussein has done it again! With the help of his friends, the homosexual Sweeds, the president has managed to win the Nobel Peace Prize -- the top honor of any aspiring communist, former terrorist (Nelson Mandela) or envirojunkie. We here at Future Twits would like to congratulate Obama with a photo tribute to his many great accomplishments towards peace since entering office.

1. Addition of 7 more states to the Union

2. First annual White House "beer summit"

3. Trillion dollar Christmas gift to bankers

4. Stammering his way through speeches

For comparison, here is the last idiot president stammering through speeches

5. Calling Hollywood celebrities that he's never met a "jackass"

And, I'm out of ideas. That was a short entry.

Maybe some filler video of classic pin up girls?

Monday, October 5, 2009

Top 10 David Letterman's "Interns"

Consider David Letterman. His appetite for women is superseded only by the jokes that he so freely makes at the expense of others. Sadly, neither are funny.

However, we at Future Twits are not here to judge Letterman for his voracious and often strange appetite for the opposite sex (although he should have been able to do better than this) but to celebrate his womanizing David Letterman Style

Top Ten David Letterman Interns:

10. Shia Labeouf's Mom

9. Oprah

8. Legolas

7. Selma Bouvier

6. Heidi Klum -- YOU WISH!!!

5. Megan Fox -- YOU REALLY, REALLY WISH!!!

4. The girl from bandcamp

3. Maggie Gyllenhaal -- (she wishes)


Betty White . . . nah, too much class for you

1. Ann Coulter

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Glenn Beck's Response to Our Post

Well, we certainly didn't expect this. Glenn Beck sent us a very tearful reply to our mockery of him.

Some quotes from the letter:

"you bunch of boot-stepping Nazi lovers with cheese for brains"

"the worst thing since Hitler"

"whores, each and every one of you"

"suck-ass video and commentary"

"cried myself to sleep"

"ate mud for three days"

"puta madre"

"up yours, your families' and your families families' asses"

"*&^! off"

We would get much more worked up about his display of emotion . . . only we tend to think that they're crocodile tears!


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