Friday, August 24, 2012

Five Funniest Poker Commercials If you have watched much televised poker, you have probably seen commercials for online poker rooms. Recently, a couple of sites ranked the top 10 worst poker commercials. Today, I thought I would share the five funniest poker commercials I've seen so far. PokerRoom.com - Play Your Cards Right This classic commercial for online site PokerRoom.com answers the age old question about whether guys like blondes or brunettes better. Personally, I am more of a redhead guy myself, but if I find a brunette as "talented" as the one in this video, I could become a convert.



Phil Ivey Poker Face

Full Tilt Poker did a series of commercials about poker players with the best poker faces. Phil Ivey was clearly the obvious choice based on his stone face expressions at the table. Interestingly enough, Ivey and his wife are no longer together. Makes you wonder if this commercial was a bit of foreshadowing on their relationship.


PokerRoom - Act According to Position

Another great commercial from PokerRoom.com reminds poker players that they should always act according to their position. Granted, I think that this commercial was actually made for female poker players.


Don't Suck Out on Sasquatch

This commercial was for the 2010 WSOP coverage on ESPN and featured a heads-up confrontation between Phil Hellmuth and Sasquatch of Jack Link's Beef Jerky fame. Hellmuth called an all-in from Sasquatch and discovered he ran pocket kings into pocket aces. I'll let you watch the video to see the rest.


Party Poker - Intellectual Bad Poker Face

Party Poker put out a series of "bad poker face" commercials a few years ago but this one where the "brainy girl" dumps her boyfriend for someone "more on her level" was among the best. You will see why.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

If You Teach a Man to Fish ... He Might Ruin the Ecosystem

If you teach a man to fish, he might ruin the ecosystem. It's a much better idea to just be a total dick to him instead.


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Ban Life Jackets and Birth Control

As the post says, you should ban both life jackets and birth control.



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Thursday, August 16, 2012

My Review of Powow Text Messaging Software for Android

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of POWOW Messenger for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

In this article, I would like to give my readers a brief review of the Powow Text Messaging Software from Android. I downloaded the software a couple of days ago, and I have been using it ever since. My thoughts are below.

The first thing that I notice about the software is that the interface is both colorful and clean. This is a nice improvement from the texting software that comes standard on my phone, where everything is white and on the same level. With Powow, the interface breaks up messages into various colored bubbles, so that it's much easier to keep track of long conversations. I have included a screen shot of this feature below.


Powow Screen Shot

 

For me, the coolest thing about Powow is not the interface; it's the fact that you can easily send out a text to multiple users at the same time. Using the built-in texting software, I am not even sure if this is possible, let alone do I know how to do it. With the Powow software, you just have to click one of the buttons in the upper right hand corner of the screen (see above). It's pretty intuitive.

So, if you do a lot of texting on your phone and you're looking for software to enhance the experience, I would recommend downloading Powow. Even if you're not that big of a texter, the better interface and some added capabilities versus standard texting software should be a major selling point in favor of Powow.

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If you do decide to download the software, leave your comments below and tell me what you think.

P.S. Readers: you should thank me for providing a screen shot. It turns out that taking a shot on an Android phone is not at all a trivial task. Basically, you have to download the Android SDK, plug your phone into your computer, and then do a screen capture via the SDK debugging software. If you want more information, just do a Google search on the subject.

POWOW Messenger for Android

P.P.S. Download Powow!

Visit Sponsor's Site

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Jogger and a Soda Pop Can


Jealousy head shot -- jogger style.
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4Chan -- Trolling Pepsi Since 2012

I found this awesome picture online talking about a recent incident where 4Chan trolled Pepsi. The back story is that Pepsi put up a site where people could vote on names for a new flavor of Mountain Dew. 4Chan -- being 4Chan -- decided to troll the website and vote for names like "Fapple" and "Hitler Did Nothing Wrong".

The story is shown below:



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Bane: Still More Facial Expressions than Kristen Stewart



Kristen Stewart really is just that bad on an actress.
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Thursday, August 9, 2012

You Don't Need to Justify Being Gay with Genetics




Gay Community: Stop letting yourselves get walked on like this! Stop letting the haters and Christians steer the debate. It's okay to be gay, and you don't need to appeal to your genes to justify it. Let me explain.

See, the whole debate about being gay has broken down into two camps in the United States. On the one side, you have the Christians who are complaining that homosexuality has broken one the laws of their god and of the Christian Bible. Beyond the idea that a god capable of the mass-murder (if you believe the Bible literally) of everyone in the world except for eight people has no moral authority to condemn anything, should the god in question be the one acting against the gay people if he's offended by it? I mean, if the Christian god is really so upset by people having homosexual sex, then let him start throwing lightning bolts at the gay people himself. He doesn't need a bunch of slack-jawed redneck yokels to do his job for him.

However, there is a problem on the other side as well. For some reason, the main argument from the gay community on the issue seems to be, "Look, we were born this way and we can't help being gay." While there is a growing body of scientific evidence to support this, I think this sells the gay position short. In my mind, who cares if gays were born that way or not?

People who practice any other kind of sex don't need to justify their actions. You can have a good religious couple who does all sorts of kinky crap in the bedroom (think 50 Shades of Grey), and they don't have to justify to anyone that their sexual proclivities come as a result of their genetics. I don't think I've ever heard someone who is into BDSM say, "Well, I only like it because I was born this way." They like it because ... well ... it gets them off. And, that's perfectly fine.

Similarly with gays, I know that there are people who are born that way, who are genuinely not attracted to the same sex. But, why can't there be other gay people who just enjoy that kind of sex? Personally, as a heterosexual male, I don't see the allure. However, I don't see the allure of 50 Shades either. I wouldn't want to get beaten during sex. But, hey, more power to the people who do like that.

So, gay people, next time you have the debate, say something like, "Sure, I was born this way ... but I also do it because I enjoy it. And, there's nothing wrong with that."



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Louie C. K.'s take on Sex with a Girl on Her Period

Does having sex with your girlfriend while she's on her period bug you? Well, it doesn't bother Louie C. K.


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Sexy Girl Warming Up at Olympics

There's nothing sexual about this gif. Nope, nothing.



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Jesus vs. Optimus Prime

I found and hyperlinked this cool graphic from Facebook. Enjoy: a comparison of Jesus vs. Optimus Prime.

Share your thoughts on who makes the better super hero/god below.


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Ultimate Revenge on a Robber -- Make Him a Sex Slave?!

I have no idea if this is real or not. It has been reported by several of the mainstream media sites, including Dailymail and Forbes, but there were some suggestions in the comments section that it was fabricated. I haven't looked for it on Snopes yet.

In any case, real or not, it's still funny.


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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

How Much Are You Worth as a Slave?

Ever wondered how much you are worth if you are ever sold as a slave? Well, Leviticus, from the Bible, is here to help.


What kind of price would you fetch at auction?

This is why the Bible is messed up.
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Dear Dr. Laura Letter

I found a letter, supposedly written to Dr. Laura about comments made on her radio show, about how the Bible should be literally enforced in the modern world.

While I have no way of knowing who actually wrote the letter and if it was ever sent to Dr. Laura, the text of the letter itself is quite interesting.


Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,

James M. Kauffman,

Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,

Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia

P.S. (It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian.)

I would also like to own a Canadian, good sir. Perhaps we can travel to Canada to purchase one together? 
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Bane Kitten: Clipping My Nails Could Be Painful ... For You!

When I saw this picture, I knew that I had to repost it to my blog. It's the Bane (from Batman) Kitten, giving his opinion on clipping nails.

Bane Kitten

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How to Troll Someone's Computer

Thanks for the advice, Reddit.


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Cat dancing as it plays with toy

You can never have too many cat pictures on your blog!


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Kitten is a Muffin Stealing Whore

Poor kitty!

Kitten: Muffin Stealing Whore!

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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Cute Cat Getting Famous Online

Kitties need your support in the online war against dogs. Otherwise, they'll have to jump off of tall buildings.

You wouldn't want that, would you?


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Cartoon on Mitt Romney and His Tax Returns

So, is Mitt Romney a felony tax evader? While the jury is still out on that point, one thing that all sides can agree on is that he has failed to provide his tax returns for ten years, as is recent practice among presidential candidates. Mitt is angry that people, including Harry Reid, have called him out on this. Poor Mitt is at a loss as to how to stop the incessant criticism from the left about his taxes. This next cartoon, courtesy of the Salt Lake Tribune, highlights the problem.

Mitt Romney Tax Returns





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