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When asked about this incident, Mr. Romney side-stepped the question. "My infancy is a long time ago," said Mr. Romney. "While I can't say categorically that I never had poopy diapers, I can say that sounds like something I wouldn't do. Pooping is bad for the economy, and I am all about the economy."
"He is obfuscating," famed internet blogger and blowhard Perez Hilton is alleged to have said in reply. "I just find it completely hypocritical that he would criticize people for their choice of anal activities when he himself was at one time an active participant in anal excretions."
"Now, what we have to remember here is that ... I personally, speaking for myself on this matter, think that it's okay to poop in a diaper," allegedly said President Obama when asked about the incident during a White House press conference. When pressed further, the President denied connections to a pushing incident with a constipated girl in Indonesia. "She was the only other black girl in my school, and I knew that she had constipation," President Obama admitted during the interview. "However, what I did was not a hate crime. It had nothing to do with her being black ... or with her lacking the ability to pass fecal matter."
Uncle Henry from the Romney family also weighed in on the incident. "Mitt pooping as a child really got to me later in life. Just having to smell that disgusting odor made me turn to a life of crime and shoe fetishes from which I have never recovered. Consequently, is that man wearing a size 5?"
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| Shoe Fetishes ... One High-Heeled Girl at a Time |
Updates to this story will be posted as they occur.
