I just don't know what else to say other than "Wow!" Just wow. Wow.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Breaking News: Lone Gun Walks into a Bar, Kills Fifty
A lone gun, depressed about the prospects of new gun control, has walked into a suburban bar, killing 50 and wounding 127 more. Police have refused to release a statement, pending the notification of the families of the victims.
“It was horrific,” recounted one woman. “One moment, the gun was just sitting there on the table. The next, it was wildly flying around in the air, shooting everyone and everything that moved. I even saw it jump up, fly around the room in a private helicopter, and shoot people from the sky. I was completely terrified.
John Crackernuts, spokesperson for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun violence, observed, “This is yet another instance of guns acting out violently. When is America going to wake up and realize that these guns need to be controlled so that the killing will stop? After all, it is the gun’s fault in situations like this one. The gun acted on its own, as is always the case – autonomously. It just flew through the air killing people, just like what has happened in every shooting before and will happen again unless we start executing people who want to buy guns.”
The official spokesperson of the NRA, the ghost of Charlton Heston, had this to say about the shooting, “The problem is not that we need fewer guns on the street but more guns, more and more guns. We need guns in the schools, guns in the bars, guns on the sidewalks, even guns in the nursery. Hell, if I go to a school and don’t see a bazooka in the hands of every toddler, I get a little worried. What if one some rogue bazooka decides to shoot up the school? Who will protect our little ones if not other bazookas at the school? If you want to take the bazooka from my toddler, you will have to take it out of his cold dead hands! Oh … I mean mine … or something.”
When President Obama was asked about the incident, he remarked, “Well, uh, I uh, feel that, uh, we should, uh, evaluate, uh, the options, uh, that we, uh, have available, uh, in this, uh, situation, uh, and, uh, act, uh, accordingly. I mean, uh, on the one hand, uh, there, uh, is a, uh, need to, uh, have greater, uh, gun control, uh, but, uh, at, uh, the same time, uh, we, uh, should, uh, respect, uh, the rights, uh, of citizens, uh, uh, uh, uh, …” At this point, the president seemed to have a meltdown and was sent back to the factory for further repairs.
Unfortunately, Mitt Romney has gained the trait of “drooling moron” and thus could not be reached for comment.
Also present in the bar was a young white male intent on doing people in the bar bodily harm. When questioned, police blamed his murderous aspirations on the media, the Batman movies, video games, his psychiatrist, Marilyn Manson, his parents, the NRA, the liberals, the conservatives, face paint, medical school, and global warming.
- Keep It to Yourself: the Unhappiest Shirt on Earth (popdose.com)
- New X-Men Movie Title Released (geeksaresexy.net)
- Politifact Deems Romney's Attacks On "You Didn't Build That" FALSE (alan.com)
- Should women be able to profit from false rape accusations? (happolatismiscellany.wordpress.com)
Ever wondered what ultimate players "really do"? Well, neither have I! But, here is a six-picture meme explaining it anyway. The categories are: "What my mom thinks I do", "What my friends think I do", "What society thinks I do", "What my wife thinks I do", "What I think I do", and "What I really do".
- Cats -- What I Actually Do (futuretwit.com)
- Hub pushes product with a meme (thecontentlab.icrossing.com)
- oldtweets - Laughing Meme (laughingmeme.org)
- No More Memes (twoinches.typepad.com)
- And let the MEMES begin! I'm stoked about this new scientific higgs boson breakthrough (digitalvegetarian.com)
Thursday, July 26, 2012
|50 Names for Breasts|
- A Letter to My Breasts... (martinisandminivans.com)
- Think Pink: Avon Breast Cancer Crusade Lip Balm (bellasugar.com)
- Mom Tries to Convince 14-Year-Old Daughter to Get Breast Implants (jdjournal.com)
- Breast enlargement in top 3 procedures (mya.co.uk)
As the title says ....
|Chinese Fire Drill|
- RIMPAC: Russian, US warships drill together (english.ruvr.ru)
- 2 missiles miss target during Taiwan live-fire drill (panarmenian.net)
- China's Oil Hunger Hits $15 Billion in Canada Amid US Diet Deals (minyanville.com)
- Chinese navy holds live ammunition drill in E. China Sea (rnzngunners.wordpress.com)
Friday, July 20, 2012
- Hilary Duff Hits the Big Apple Streets With Mike and Luca (popsugar.com)
- Teen Choice Awards: Hilary Duff (fabsugar.com)
- Hilarious Prometheus Parody Video (neatorama.com)
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
|Kittens on a Slide + Momma Cat|
- Heroic Cat Takes Bullet For Kittens (huffingtonpost.com)
- Rachel Lea Fox: I have more KITTENS!! These kittens can pull off the saddest eyes I've ever seen kittens do! Especially that little orange boy with the white nose! Expand and look at him, he is awesome with his eyes! And so social already, they are just g (friendfeed.com)
- I mean, I doubt he would kill a kitten. (saraellenawesome.com)
- Adorable Kitten Shows Ferocious Doberman Who's Boss [Video] (gawker.com)
- Angel in My Life (wyzasswench.wordpress.com)
Why is it that our society celebrates just getting married, but we don't celebrate just getting divorced? Is there no such thing as a good divorce? I think that there is.
|Just Divorced -- Car Decorations!|
Sunday, July 15, 2012
|Kitties at the Window|
- Hello, Kitty. Hello, Dudes in Hello Kitty Masks. Good-bye, Innocence. (bellasugar.com)
- Hello Kitty For MAC Is Almost Here! (bellasugar.com)
- Hello Kitty Gets Graphic (bellasugar.com)
- Saturday's Kitties (manboobz.com)
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Nobody ever said that Donald was smart.
|Donald Duck -- Mixing Meth with Viagra|
- This Day in History: DONALD DUCK DEBUTS IN THE LITTLE WISE HEN (1934) (euzicasa.wordpress.com)
- Donald Duck Screams 'Holocaust' In German Magazine (inquisitr.com)
- Donald duck skin (minecrafthd.com)
- Donald Duck Dunn RIP (27thstreet.wordpress.com)
- A "Donald Duck" Moment (atreadmark.wordpress.com)
Friday, July 6, 2012
Here is a picture of a car driven by a bronze level douche bag.
I wonder what it takes to achieve gold level?
I wonder what it takes to achieve gold level?
|Bronze Level Douche Bag|
- Are you a Douche Bag, I mean Klouchebag? (ios-empire.com)
- Alec Baldwin Thinks Harvey Weinstein Is 'A F***ing Douche Bag' (lukewilliamsgossip.wordpress.com)
- 20 Years Ago! (simplifybysara.wordpress.com)
- slang words of the day (endeshabille.wordpress.com)
If you're a Republican who worships Jesus but doesn't like poor people, have you ever thought about that?
Willy Wonka has.
Willy Wonka has.
|Willy Wonka and Christian Republicans|
- Who Wore It Better? Chanel Willy Wonka Sunnies (fabsugar.com)
- Willy Wonka & the Concerta Factory (blackboxwarnings.wordpress.com)
- Steve Jobs' Plan for a Willy Wonka-Style Celebration of the Millionth iMac (macrumors.com)
- Who Wore It Better: Snooki Or Willy Wonka? (987ampradio.cbslocal.com)