1. Hire some muscle: There is nothing quite so intimidating to a nerdly man as some hired goons. It reminds the nerd of their high school days and wedgies, snuggies, and the dreaded Tennessee butt-rapey. In any case, it makes the nerds fall straight into line.
2. Pit bulls: If having goons beat the living snot out of nerds isn't your cup of tea, you could always consider having a dog rip the nerd's face off instead. Trust me, these nerds need to know fear. They're taking over the world.
3. Transvestite hookers: Ah, the bane of geeks everywhere the half-man, half-woman entity that is a transvestite hooker. Just be sure that you bring lots of alcohol for the gender confused nerds to enjoy or regret their ill gotten gains. Dude looks like a lady.4. If all else fails: Why not just do crowd control the traditional way, using stanchions and velvet rope. After all, sometimes the simplest solution is best.
