Friday, August 20, 2010

Black Swan: Fake Lesbians vs. Real Lesbians

For those of you with too interesting of lives to care about the latest scheme by Hollywood to sell extra movie tickets, I thought that I would take a few minutes to tell you about the latest movie designed to squeeze a few more bucks out of the pockets of men everywhere: Black Swan.




As much fun as I think that it would be to see Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman kissing anyone in a movie, I do have to object a little bit when they start kissing each other. On the one hand, I find the display visually pleasing, just like any guy would. At the same time, I get the same kind of uncomfortable feeling that I get when I see a pretty waitress at a crowded restaurant spending just a little too much time over at a table full of single guys and bending over just a little too far when she picks up their plates: the waitress might be flirting with them because she likes them, but in my experience she probably just wants a bigger tip.

Hot Waitress: Wants Your Money, Not Your Number


This is the exact same feeling that I get in this case. I can't shake the feeling that Hollywood is making yet another movie with a lesbian kiss, not because they want to express an idea artistically but because they want to sell more tickets to lonely guys who think both Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis are super attractive. This brings me to the whole point of my article: Hollywood and its obsession with "fake lesbians". 


Selma Hayek: Another Hollywood Fake Lesbian


Fake Lesbians are Hollywood's Best Friends:

From Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in Black Swan to Denise Richards and Neve Campbell in Wild Things to Katy Perry singing about kissing a girl, Hollywood is very persistent in promoting this illusion that the sell to guys across the world that hot, normal looking, sexy girls are bisexual reservoirs of uncontrollable hormones that need other girls as a safety valve.

Wild Things: Denise Richards & Neve Campbell


The reality is that most real world lesbians that I've ever met fall into the category of either an Ellen Degeneres clone, Rosie O'Donnell's twin sister, or someone who could easily be mistaken for the half man, half woman character from 50 First Dates played by  Lusia Strus. For most of these women, the idea of femininity is about as foreign and unrealistic as the idea of me having lunch on the moon.


Katy Perry in "I Kissed a Girl"


Still not convinced? Lets look at some examples:

Fake Lesbians: Tatu (singers from Russia)

Tatu: Singers from Russia

Tatu: they're not lesbians, they just play them on TV.

Real Lesbians:

Real Lesbians: Sexy, huh?


Not exactly the type that you're likely to see in a movie any time soon.

Another example:


Fake Lesbian: (think Cruel Intentions)


Sarah Michelle Gellar -- Fake Lesbian


Real Lesbian: (think fat arse talk show host):


Rosie O'Donnell -- Real Lesbian




For those guys among you who think that I'm being too harsh here, as Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars Episode III would say, "Search your feelings. You know it to be true." For all of the women who think that I'm being too harsh, well, you either are one or you know one so STFU!



I hope you enjoyed the pictures. Now, if I could only figure out a way to use fake lesbians to make me rich  . . .




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16 comments:

  1. wow....i think....ha ha ha already know after read ur post here...have a great day there n keep in touch

    also supporting ur page also smileSSSSSS here....need ur support back

    best regards

    dwell

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're seriously the only guy I've heard complain about two hot chicks kissing in a movie. So they're doing it just for a few extra bucks, but who cares? Just enjoy it man, who actually thinks about this stuff?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well, I'm not saying that I don't enjoy it. Every guy enjoys it. I'm just saying that I feel a bit used, just like the example where the waitress bends over way too far in front of you to get a bigger tip.

    I also made the point that real lesbians don't look like that. Just saying . . .

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just like the final performance by its deeply disturbed heroine, Black Swan is perfect.I watch Black Swan Online here very easily .

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi,
    This is nice post and this post is really appreciable and informs i like this post too much and more enjoy with Black Lesbians and Porn Movies.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Not that I'm a supporter of gratuitous bisexuality/lesbianism in films to act as fanservice to the male populace, I'd just like to point out that the basis for your 'point' is completely false. The belief that all lesbians are butch, unattractive women is just as much a stereotype as the one your pointing out. And it leads me to believe that you don't ACTUALLY know very many lesbians.

    Visit any lesbian bar in any major city and you'll find numerous attractive lesbian and bisexual women. The majority of lesbian couples usually consist of a femme/butch relationship. The femmes are JUST as girly as straight women, sometimes even more so, given the lack of natural masculinity in their butch partners.

    A better point for you to make would be that Hollywood is obsessed with promoting femme/femme relationships to cater to the male audience, when, by any given standard, they are rare in the real world. Just as rare in fact as seeing a super feminine male with a super feminine female.

    Please learn a little something about gender roles before you start promoting stereotypes.

    ReplyDelete
  7. No, my point is right on. I've met a LOT of lesbians in my life, and I've even known a few personally. True, there are some cute ones in the mix. But, most aren't, and those "butches", as you call them, never get much press in Hollywood.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hot femme lesbians and femme/femme relationships are not rare in the real world. I'm an attractive femme and I love other attractive femme women, which is really common in NYC where I live. Sure, there are also a bunch of Rosie O'Donnell lesbians, but there are lots of ugly straight people in the world too. As a lesbian who knows lots of lesbians, I'd say that the ratio of hot lesbians to ugly ones is about the same as hot straight women to ugly ones.

    If you think most lesbians look like Rosie O'Donnell, you just don't know the right lesbians or you live in, like, backwater Nebraska or something.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yeah right. If you're a hot femme lesbian and you have a hot femme partner, prove it by sending me pictures of you and your partner in bikinis...

    Or kissing on the park bench ...

    Or having a pillow fight in lingerie ...

    Or having an orgy with other hot lesbians.

    Until I see one or all of those things, I'll just think that you're a Rosie O'Donnell type lesbian masquerading as hot.

    ReplyDelete
  10. your an idiot.

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005577/

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lipstick%20lesbian

    ReplyDelete
  11. so, are there any known real lesbians in Hollywood?

    ReplyDelete

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