Thoughts on some movies: Sex in the City, Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Lacking in other ideas, I decided to review some movies my wife and I watched over the weekend.

1. Sex and the City: spoiled, oversexed, ugly, stupid, rich, white girls whining about their problems, most of which are brought on by unbelievable selfishness on their part.





























Not only that, but it was over two hours long. Any movie I watch over two hours long better have some epic battle scenes to break the monotony, or I'm going to get bored and start surfing the net.

Finally, how much really exciting stuff is there that can be said about female sexual relationships anyway? How many times you had an orgasm, how many positions you performed, what your guys stuff tasted like, etc. Who freaking cares? In real life, I've had people try to tell me about their sex life. It was gross and uncomfortable for everyone involved. Sex is a very natural part of life, IMHO, but it should be kept PRIVATE for the most part.






































2. Mr. and Mrs. Smith: good but not great movie. My problem with Angelina Jolie is that, even though she has a rockin' good body, she looks like a horse in the face. Also, the storyline on the movie was very predictable. I called the ending (no I haven't seen it before, so what?) that the two were married about an hour into it.

Why You Will Never Make Money Blogging

All bloggers have, at one time or another, dreamed of a retirement from our 9-5 jobs facilitated by the enormous success of our blogs. We imagine sipping drinks on the beach on some remote island that we own, all while millions of adoring fans continuously click on our ads and buy products from our affiliates to feed our privileged lifestyle. I hate to tell you this, but . . .

It's not going to happen!!!

Why?













1. No one reads your blog: Lets be honest folks, out of the twenty people you associate with closely on a daily basis, how many of them read or follow a small blog on a daily basis? Unless they are bloggers themselves, I would guess that the answer is close to zero. Note that for "small blogs", I don't count sites like Tmz or Huffington Post. They resemble my blog about as much as I resemble the little snake creatures from the movie Alien.

Even among the few internet users who faithfully follow blogs, the competition is pretty intense. Unless you happen to somehow stumble into a niche that has a lot of interest yet hasn't been overly published, your chances of holding an audience are particularly slim. You're especially unlikely to do so with the kind of "shotgun" approach like I use.




























2. No one clicks on your ads: Even if they do come to your blog, people probably aren't interested in the type of crap your site is selling. How many ads do you click on in the typical blog that you visit? I click on ads as a matter of courtesy for the other bloggers I enjoy, but most people don't. Even if they do, how long is it going to take you to become a millionaire from the 35 cents you make from two pity clicks a day?


























3. People don't visit your site to shop: When is the last time you went to a small Wordpress or Blogspot blog to buy something from Amazon, Kohls, Revlon, etc? Even if you did see something you really liked on there from one of those companies, would you really trust the link in the blog, or would you go directly to the company websites?




























4. Someone can do your site BETTER that you: Even if somehow you do manage to find an absolutely brilliant series of ideas for your blog that make it a money generating engine, be assure that someone, actually a lot of someones, can write the same style blog with the same type of content even better than you do. Heck, I can think of at least a dozen blogs that I read on blogspot alone that are better written, updated more frequently, and have better content than my blog. Since I haven't seen any of them posting from their retirement homes in Maui, I am assuming that they continue to write more for fun than for the huge bump to their income it generates.

In summary, don't believe the crap that you find online about becoming a billionaire blogging. Not gonna happen. You could always click on my ads to support me though :)

Some Observations about The Mall

1. Victoria Secret is a great place to pick up on girls. If the girl is married, she'll let you know right away. But, she'll still probably be grateful for the compliment. If she's single, the perfume and sexy girl y colors of the store should have her in the right mood. Best of all, if you do manage to pick her up and she shops at Victoria Secret single, you KNOW that she likes to boink!

























2. No one ever buys the massage chairs at Brookstone -- they just get free massages. If it weren't for the 20$ crap they sell, like the combo coffee-maker-alarm-clock-back-scratchers that they sell there, that company would have been bankrupt three years ago.



































3. Never walk past the handbags in Macys with your wife when it's close to her birthday. It's a battle that you can't win.

An open question to our readers

Future Twits is looking for a new direction, and we need your help.

In the early days of Future Twits, the staff here focused mainly on creating funny an original content, mostly making fun of the rich, celebrities, and anyone who offended our virtual sensibilities.

Unfortunately, no one ever read it.

An average readership for our blog in those days was one or two people a day. Sadly, most of the time this was one of the authors (alright, fine it was me -- there are no other authors) checking to see if someone had visited the blog.

















After that, the blog took a different direction.

We started posting more "gimmicky" material, articles about 5 ways to get rich, 10 hot anime girls, or 27 ways to beat your spouse or significant other without getting caught. The last one was removed due to copyright violations.

However, gimmicky seems to work. Each and every day this week, I have had no less than 25 or so horny Asians hitting the 10 hot anime girls page to look for pictures. It's somewhat mind blowing.
















Question to readers: which article type do you like best -- satire or gimmicky? Please leave your comments at the end of the article.

Oh, and the customary pretty girl photos!!!

Movie Recuts Galore

For your viewing pleasure: lots and lots of movie trailer recuts from Youtube. Enjoy!

1. Broke Back Top Gun





2. The Shining Family Movie





3. Mary Poppins Horror Movie



4. Willy Wonka Drug Dealer



5. Star Wars Broke Back



6. The Terminator Romance




Also, the results of the poll are in. Most of you think that I should post more often. Thanks to all who participated.

Oh, and my customary pretty girls post. This group is from Korea -- Wonder Girls.