The Ultimate Hunger Games

The hunger games movie was cool ... kind of. But, the movie would have been even better if they had epic tributes -- like the ones in the image below. Can anyone imagine these tributes fighting to the death in an arena?

For reference, the tributes (at least the ones I recognize) are Batman, Hit Girl, Indiana Jones, the blonde girl from Lord of the Rings, Rambo, Jennifer Garner in that movie where she was the super hero, not sure on two, Braveheart guy, not sure but hot, Maximus, Kill Bill girl, not sure, Xena, not sure x2, Aragorn, the video game movie with Angelina Jolie girl, 300 guy, the original Hunger Games girl from the book, don't know x2, Achilles (Brad Pitt), and don't know.

The game master is Jigsaw.

Thoughts on some movies: Sex in the City, Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Lacking in other ideas, I decided to review some movies my wife and I watched over the weekend.

1. Sex and the City: spoiled, oversexed, ugly, stupid, rich, white girls whining about their problems, most of which are brought on by unbelievable selfishness on their part.





























Not only that, but it was over two hours long. Any movie I watch over two hours long better have some epic battle scenes to break the monotony, or I'm going to get bored and start surfing the net.

Finally, how much really exciting stuff is there that can be said about female sexual relationships anyway? How many times you had an orgasm, how many positions you performed, what your guys stuff tasted like, etc. Who freaking cares? In real life, I've had people try to tell me about their sex life. It was gross and uncomfortable for everyone involved. Sex is a very natural part of life, IMHO, but it should be kept PRIVATE for the most part.






































2. Mr. and Mrs. Smith: good but not great movie. My problem with Angelina Jolie is that, even though she has a rockin' good body, she looks like a horse in the face. Also, the storyline on the movie was very predictable. I called the ending (no I haven't seen it before, so what?) that the two were married about an hour into it.

Oprah Winfrey: I have the Power!

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No Oprah is not He-Man or She-Ra. (Although she might like to be. Who knows?) But she is one angry woman-beast after seeing Forbes push Angelina Jolie in its latest celebrity power rankings. Nobody ranks higher than Oprah! Nobody! And she'll make sure you don't forget it.

So what will the big O do to retake her throne from Brad's other half? Let's just say giving away cars and Angie's kids to her twitter followers aren't out of the question as this future twitter entry shows.

Oprah Winfrey's future twitter entry for June 8, 2010:

9:45 am -- HELLO LOYAL MINIONS!!!!! It is I Oprah. Repeat after me: Oprah is good, Oprah is great. We surrender our will as of this date.

10:10 -- Good news! The Central time zone has been renamed the Oprah time zone. We're still working on getting my name attached to Chicago.

10:15 -- @oprahlover69: what are you going to call it.

10:20 -- I'm thinking Oprah presents Chicago. Or Chicago: an Oprah City.

10:25 -- @Oprah-is-queen: brilliant.
@oprahlover69: marvelous.
@marrymeoprah: I love your ideas as much as I worship you.


10:30 -- @bigredlips: Nice try, Oprah. You still aren't more powerful than me. I have more power than you can possibly imagine.




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10:45 -- REMOVE JOLIE AT ONCE!! Twitter is for Oprah and OPRAH ONLY!

11:30 -- I've got a special surprise for my twitter followers! You're all going home with a car today! You're getting a car! And you're getting a car! And you're getting a car! And you're getting a car!

11:40 -- @oprahlover69: who is giving us cars, oh great one?

High Noon -- Contact Barack. He is the GM of GM after all and he owes me a solid. I made the man what he is today!

12:20 -- @bigredlips: I have more twitter followers than you. And I just added another recruit to my growing army of children. This one is from Azerbaijan. HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!




12:35 -- I have a new announcement. Everyone here today is going home with a BRAND NEW KID!!! You're getting a kid! And you're getting a kid! And you're getting a kid!

12:40 -- @Oprah-is-queen: Cool! Where are we getting these kids?

12:50 -- Ms. Jolie's house of course. Swarm and descend. She will feel the wrath of OPRAH NATION! I am Oprah, Ruler of Stedman and Queen of Chicago.

12:55 -- Watch my show today. We will be breaking down the latest issue of O Magazine and I will have an exclusive interview with the gorgeous cover model.

1:00 -- We will also be getting a field update from Jolie Baby Raid '10 via special correspondent Anderson Cooper.

WATCH OR DIE!!!!!

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