Showing posts with label lindsay lohan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lindsay lohan. Show all posts

Saturday, November 3, 2012

In Praise of a Boot Planted Firmly in John Stossel's Corn Hole



In a recent article, Fox News anchor John Stossel praised "price gougers" -- people who take advantage of emergency situations to raise the prices of basic necessities, including food, gasoline, and toiletries. He said that long lines could be eliminated by businesses gouging their customers.

What he didn't mention -- or seem to care about -- is that this would disproportionately favor the wealthy in these states. Just like everything coming out of the right these days, the mentality is one of catering to the rich elite at all costs. So, John, are you basically saying that people should be allowed to gouge gas prices because poor people shouldn't be allowed to drive cars after a natural disaster? Maybe businesses should do the same thing with food prices because poor people shouldn't be allowed to eat after a disaster. Is that about right?

Someone needs to take away your millions and make you live for a few years as a poor American. If you ever were one, you've forgotten the experience to the point where you have no sympathy left for them. Better yet, someone needs to take a boot and plant it firmly in your rectum to keep you from talking out your ass.
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Sunday, March 4, 2012

Cocaine: World Championship Finals

Here is the final match-up for the Cocaine: World Championship Finals. It's Lindsay Lohan versus Charlie Sheen.

Cocaine: World Championship Finals

I'm now taking bets for the winner. Leave your pick in the comments below.
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Thursday, May 26, 2011

House Party with Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan at Calvin Klein Spring 2007 Fash...Image via Wikipedia
Lindsay Lohan is starting her house arrest today after pleading no contest to stealing a $2,500 gold necklace from a store in January. Lohan was sentenced to spend four months confined to her home fitted with an electronic ankle bracelet. 


She is expected to serve only 35 days of the sentence. So what will Lohan do to pass the time? 


Here are some ideas on what we think will happen: 


1. A date with Jack Daniels:
No we're not breaking news that Lohan is suddenly straight. Or that her latest flame is a butch lesbian named Jackie exploring surgery to become Jack. We're talking about her lover in a bottle that has been a constant companion so many years. 


2. Read movie scripts
Given the way her career has tanked in recent years, this is the closest Lohan will come to landing regular acting jobs again (at least until that movie about John Gotti hits theaters). 


3. Poker night with Mel Gibson, Gary Busey and Nick Nolte
Okay, there is a generational gap here. Still, birds of a feather flock together. First one to go off on a drunken rant wins! 


4. Break out the spy equipment
Lohan will make like "Rear Window" or "Disturbia" (aka: Rear Window for teens) and start spying on her neighbors with her digital camera, camcorder and binoculars. Hey, it's a great way for finding new ways to score some coke since her regular supply lines won't be available. 


5. Rethink her life and devote herself to helping humanity
This last scenario will happen about the time a Republican presidential candidate actually publicly admits to agreeing with President Barack Obama on an issue.


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