Monday, October 25, 2010

Why Writing an Article in 7 Minutes Make Us Dumberer

Paris HiltonImage by casasroger via Flickr
In his system, "How to Write an Article in 7 Minutes (or some crap like that)", internet marketer some-bozo-that-I-don't remember-his-name-and-it's-a-pseudonym-anyway has made up a system whereby people can write a 400 word article in 7 minutes (6 if you close all the porn windows on your computer first). The method goes something like this:

1. Google something and open up the first three windows that comes up on your subject. It doesn't matter where the articles source from (news, blog, hub page, 5 year old kid, prison inmate, etc.), just that the have something written on their article that is worth stealing.

2. Skim through the first three and last paragraph of the article. Don't try to do things like understand the article or verify the sources -- those things take too much time. For example, if the article tells you things like "Mercury is an excellent source of coloring for a food additive" or "When you're baby cries, just shake him or her to sleep -- the baby actually enjoys it", you should just repeat that in your article without question. After all, doing these things takes time.

3. Put the plagiarized . . . er, rewritten content that you find on those sites into a automated computer template and crank that article as fast as your little fingers can click the mouse button. Usually, your article comes out reading something like this (where the bold terms are your keywords that you've stolen from the article and the rest is computer generated drivel):

People are concerned about internet safety, but in this article, I teach you the tips to avoid internet safety and save your email passwords. By simply reading this article, you can safely experience internet safety and save your computer from internet attack. Blah, blah, blah . . . internet safety. Blah, blah, blah, . . . email passwords  . . . phishing scams . . . lazy readers.

Isn't this just riveting to read?

4. Take this craptacular article and put it on some craptacular circus-peanuts-for-bad-writing website -- like Associated Content. Make sure to  get all of your other desperate loser . . . I mean, writer colleagues on the site to click on the article, promising them that you'll do the same (even if you outsource it to India instead). Just think - this article could be worth $1.50!!!

Is this really what the internet has come to, this McDonalds version of information that writers seem to be proliferating everywhere online. Actually, I take it back, this isn't even McDonalds grade, it's more like a Jack-in-the-Box $0.39 burger that has been dropped at the drivethrough, run over a couple of times, found, and later half-eaten by a homeless man. Think: do you really want that kind of garbage clogging your internet?

P.S. No offense intended towards homeless men that eat burgers found on the street :)
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10 comments:

  1. hey JC! after that touching comment you left on my blog and YOU posting this... i think I'm gonna reconsider my writing style... This is so informative and makes things a LOT easier... Hahaha! It's just so funny how you associate the post with the picture of Paris... you are such a jerk, lol

    you know i miss you, no homo

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