
Future Twits has peered into the future and found Ann Coulter working to ensure her place in "history"

10:10 @QueenOfDamned: I have contacted the History channel to come to my mansion and write my full biography: "Ann Coulter: I'm not Satan, a zombie, or a closet lesbian (I think)". Unfortunately, they couldn't be bothered, and so Ricardo from Telemundo is coming over.

11:00 @QueenOfDamned: Ricardo has arrived. I'll be tweeting out excerpts from my dictation so that my many, er, three followers can hear the exciting accounts in real time.

@QueenOfDamned: Are you getting that, Ricardo?
@BeanBurrito: Si, senor. Algo . . . algo . . . fajo con su tio Kevin, su papa, su hijo, ademas, ademas. Continue, please, senor.

However, I credit these rejections -- and a failed experiment in a cult -- with shaping me into the person I am: a bitter, obnoxious woman with a bad boob job and a deep seated hatred of everything not rich, white, and American.
@BeanBurrito: Algo, algo, Ella es una puta . . . una que fuma marijuana y crack y quiere que yo toce sus pechitos. Pero, tengo principios: no hombres.
@QueenofDamned: I'm sorry; Glen is here for my 2 o'clock and I have to finish shoving his face in that pile of used socks. Can you come back.
@BeanBurrito: Prefiero que me muera. Si, senor.

Some Coulter videos:
Another Natalie Portman

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