Monday, November 16, 2009

Carrie Prejean: Woman of Many Talents

@Moderator: We here at Future Twits have an exclusive interview with Keith Olbermann and Carrie Prejean about the discovery of Carrie's sexy sex tape earlier this year.

@Moderator: Carrie, lets start out with you. You've admitted earlier this year that you made a sex tape for your boyfriend when you were a teenager. Does this seem to be keeping with the moral values that you publicly espoused during the beauty pageant?

@MissCalifornication: Um, I would answer that, but I really, really, have to go to the bathroom.

@Moderator: It's all that water you drank in the car, I guess.

@MissCalifornication: Yeah . . . something like that. I just need to . . . hey, does that laptop have a webcam?

@Moderator: Yes, I guess it does. I'm not sure why that's important though.

@MissCalifornication: Thanks! I'll be about 10 minutes.

@Moderator: Wait! My computer! Open the door!

@FatIdiot: With her gone, maybe we can talk about that tape! Have you see it? Good old "two fingered Girl Scout salute", eh?

@Moderator: First off Keith, I don't watch child porn and think anyone who does, including you if you saw the tape, is sick. Second, you're a misogynistic jerk, ESPECIALLY for your girl scout salute and all of the things that shows about what you think about women. Third, why do you care? It's a personal matter between her, God, and her boyfriend at the time. She did the same thing that probably 48 out of the other 49 contestants have done/will do, and I don't see anyone digging up their old boyfriends to look for sleaze. The only reason you or anyone else even found out about it is because she said something politically incorrect.

@FatIdiot: But, she's a HYPOCRITE. I mean, voicing her opinion about moral matters that way and then making a sex tape . . .

@Moderator: Listen, Dough Boy, everyone is a hypocrite when you come right down to it. Liberals love to throw that word around, but they are some of the biggest hypocrites of all. They talk about love and accepting people who live and think differently from you, yet when a public figure says something that they don't like, they try collectively to destroy that person. Sound like hypocrisy to me. Also, you've let so many of your own kind slide on personal morality, even after they made judgements about the personal morality of others (Letterman vs. Bristol Palin, for example), that I think you can let one of the opposition slide.

@FatIdiot: She wasn't that hot anyway.

@Moderator: Keith, let's face it, she's hotter than any girl you've ever been with that hasn't (probably) been with you because of your fame and money. You're fat, loud, obnoxious, and you always have a look on your face like you need to take a number two right this minute. Get over it.

@MissCalifornication: I'm done in there. Now, when you delete something off the hard drive on a computer, it's gone forever, isn't it?

@Moderator: Um . . . yeah, sure it is. Do you know what the recycling bin is?

@MissCalifornia: The what?

@Moderator: Yeah, just leave it on the table. I'll have Maxim . . . I mean the Geek Squad look at it to make sure everything is gone

(10,000$ here I come!!!)


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