Monday, June 15, 2009

President Obama meets the press


Ever notice how our President is adored by the media? Well, at least they do if he is a radical liberal like Barack Obama. One thing you should know about President Obama is that he likes a press corp that will eat out of the palm of his hand. Reporters who want to lob tough questions are free to go back through the door they came through. After all, our esteemed president did not go to a press conference to answer a bunch of questions.

What happens when one dares to ask him an "unapproved" question? Our future twitter of a Barack Obama press conference has the answer.

Future twitter coverage of a President Obama press conference for December 2, 2010:

@FirstBlackPres: Fellow citizens of this great nation, I am here today to bring a message of hope and freedom for tomorrow, and change . . . and hope . . . and, did I already mention change?

I will be happy to take your pre-approved questions now.

@MLKFan: Mr. President, obviously you are the first black president after centuries of hardship and toil on the part of African-Americans and other Americans of diverse pigmentation. The heartache, the suffering, the blood letting -- leading our nation from the oppressive foundations of oppressive slavery into the flowering bloom of an ever expanding light of reparations and . . .

@FirstBlackPres: Is there a question in there? No, seriously, I am keenly aware of the sufferings suffered by those who suffered before me. I am not a slave by birth nor by heritage. But my father was Kenyan and I came so close to spending a minute or two in a hut when I thought about visiting my paternal relatives. So, yes, I can not forget the injustices committed on our ancestors!

@Pressman1: Oh wow, he is so smart! If he would legalize gay marriage, I mean, I WOULD in a HEART BEAT . . . never mind.

@FirstBlackPres: Next question. Yes, you down front . . .


@Pressman2: Where will you be vacationing this Christmas?

@FirstBlackPres: Maui, of course. Next question.

@Pressman3: Why do the enemies of freedom hate you so much? Is anyone who disagrees with you a stupid, bigoted redneck?

@FirstBlackPres: Ha Ha. We all know the answer to that one. Next question.

@Pressman4: Where is your wife going shopping this afternoon?

@FirstBlackPres: How should I know? I have to read about it in People Magazine just like the rest of you. Next question.

@Pressman5: Should Americans believe in HOPE, or is this just too AUDACIOUS? Huh? Say it. You know you want to.

@FirstBlackPres: BUY MY BOOK. It has the answers you seek.

@Pressman1: I already bought seven copies!

@FirstBlackPres: I think I have time for one more question. Yes, you, seated in the back.

@LittleMac: I've got one for you, Mr. President. Well, a few if you don't mind answering.

@FirstBlackPres: Make it quick. I need to sign a bill to give $60 billion to purchase orphaned stem cells from Denmark.

@Pressman1: He is a God among men!


@LittleMac: Okay, first off partial birth abortion. According to your voting record, you were one of the biggest supporters of it while you were a state senator in Illinois. . .

@FirstBlackPres: Wait a minute, that's not the question you're supposed to . . .

@LittleMac: Let's not forget you ran as a bipartisan, yet a lot of your legislation so far has been a split vote straight down party lines.

@FirstBlackPres: Bipartisanship works best when my vision is shared . . .

@LittleMac: Also, your supporters made a point of criticizing Bush during your campaign for how much he spent. Yet, you spent almost a trillion dollars on the stimulus bill, and you've even managed to increase the deficit to more than it was under Bush.

@FirstBlackPres: How dare you ask these questions?

@LittleMac: The fact is that you get a free pass love fest from the media every time you do anything public, so no one calls you out on your record. Are these enough questions for you to answer, or should I continue?

@FirstBlackPres: I . . . I don't understand. I'm not supposed to hear any criticism from the press. What's happening?

@Pressman1: Get him! Get the traitor!

@Pressman2: Crucify him! Burn him at stake!

@Pressman3: Harvest his organs to sell to Green Peace. For every organ you harvest, they save another whale!

@FirstBlackPres: This press conference is at an end. A reminder that moving forward you must submit questions and reporters for pre-approval to my press secretary.

Now go get that dissident reporter . . .


Obama girl still loves you!
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