Some Amazing Videos

To all you Christians, Merry Christmas. To everyone else, burn in hell.

Just kidding. Merry Christmas to all.



Robert Muraine - The funniest videos clips are here



The Perfect Fall - Watch more funny videos here

Ann Coulter's Biography

Future Twits has peered into the future and found Ann Coulter working to ensure her place in "history"








10:10 @QueenOfDamned: I have contacted the History channel to come to my mansion and write my full biography: "Ann Coulter: I'm not Satan, a zombie, or a closet lesbian (I think)". Unfortunately, they couldn't be bothered, and so Ricardo from Telemundo is coming over.

10:20 @QueenOfDamned: Strike that, Telemundo is too high class for this project and they've been replaced by Teleritmo. 9 out of 10 Mexicans can't tell the difference.

11:00 @QueenOfDamned: Ricardo has arrived. I'll be tweeting out excerpts from my dictation so that my many, er, three followers can hear the exciting accounts in real time.





My first experience hating liberals came with a childhood crush that I had on the son of a hippie couple from my middle school, Kevin. I loved him, but he dumped me for another hippie named Rainbow -- even though I let him go to third base.

@QueenOfDamned: Are you getting that, Ricardo?

@BeanBurrito: Si, senor. Algo . . . algo . . . fajo con su tio Kevin, su papa, su hijo, ademas, ademas. Continue, please, senor.








However, I credit these rejections -- and a failed experiment in a cult -- with shaping me into the person I am: a bitter, obnoxious woman with a bad boob job and a deep seated hatred of everything not rich, white, and American.

@BeanBurrito: Algo, algo, Ella es una puta . . . una que fuma marijuana y crack y quiere que yo toce sus pechitos. Pero, tengo principios: no hombres.

@QueenofDamned: I'm sorry; Glen is here for my 2 o'clock and I have to finish shoving his face in that pile of used socks. Can you come back.

@BeanBurrito: Prefiero que me muera. Si, senor.







Some Coulter videos:











Another Natalie Portman

More Funny Cat Videos

Kitten Opens Door @ Yahoo! Video

Ninja Cat @ Yahoo! Video

Play Keyboard Gato Off, Keyboard Cat! @ Yahoo! Video

Cat Eating Sour Apple Lollypop - LOLCats @ Yahoo! Video

Kitty Plays Dead @ Yahoo! Video

Cute Kitten In A Jar @ Yahoo! Video

Cat vs Printer @ Yahoo! Video

太可愛嚕... @ Yahoo! Video

Liberals: Ideal Pets

We here at future twits have been watching the political world closely, and we have matched some of the prominent liberals with their ideal pets. Enjoy.

1. Michael Moore -- Panda Bear





















Reason: Same Cheeks


2. Howard Dean -- Pit Viper



















Reason: Same Eyes


3. Bill Maher -- Donkey
























Reason: Same Nose


4. Nancy Pelosi -- Woodpecker




































Reason: Same Cheekbones



5. Keith Olbermann -- Orangatang




























Reason: Same expression


Thanks for reading to the end. Now, for your reward.














What we should all do to Muslims





















Tell me what you think (about the hot girls, the liberal animal likeness, etc.) Thanks.

Some Animal Videos

As much fun as it is to write about Muslims or ugly, bisexual pop stars, we here at Future Twits enjoy a lighter entry at times. So, I've chosen to post some funny videos of animals. Enjoy.

1. Rush Limbaugh at Home

Big Cat Watching TV @ Yahoo! Video

2. Cat Sees Picture of Lady Gaga

Xmas Tree Surprise @ Yahoo! Video

3. Cute Animals

2009's Cuddliest Creatures @ Yahoo! Video

4. Puppies

The Climbing Puppies @ Yahoo! Video

5. Whistling Puppy

Whistling Puppy @ Yahoo! Video

I hope that those videos made you smile. If not, go to hell.