Thursday, December 30, 2010

Prank call gone HORRIBLY wrong -- adultery!

Even though cheating sucks in real life, it's sometimes fun to laugh at other people's pain. So, here is a prank phone call that goes horribly wrong when a young wife calls her husband to prank him on a radio show to prank him for Kanye West tickets by telling him that her son isn't his. You'll just have to listen to find out how this one ends.

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Bicycle Joke: More Mexican or More Jewish

A little boy walks up to his sister one day and asks, "Sis, am I more Mexican or more Jewish?"

The sister responds, "I don't know. Ask Mom."

Next, the little boy asks his mom," Am I more Mexican or more Jewish?"

The mother replies, "I'm not sure. Ask Dad."

Finally, the little boy poses the question to his father, "Am I more Mexican or more Jewish?"

The dad says, "I'm not sure son. Why do you ask?"

The little boy shot back, "Well, a friend of mine has a bike that I want. I want to know if I am more Mexican or more Jewish so that I know whether to steal the bike or to Jew him down to five dollars and buy it."

Cute Jewish Girl

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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

UTES ARE MOVIN' ON UP!!! -- Song & Music

Being a Utah Utes fan, I thought that I would post this video (Jeffersons style) as a way to say goodbye to BYU and all of the unpleasant things that come with that school. BYU -- enjoy your time as an "independent" :) I'm sure that my Utes will enjoy their time in the Pac 12 :P

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What is an alternative to

Tweeting bird, derived from the initial 't' of...Image via Wikipedia
One of the best Twitter tool websites to crop up in the last few years is -- a site that allowed users to follow and unfollow other Twitter accounts with ease. However, Twitter changed their terms of use agreement and effectively shut down the free part of the service, changing into a pay-to-use site. Here, I tell you two alternative websites to replace the functionality of -- both of which are free.

1. This site allows users to follow other Twitter accounts in a highly accessible and user friendly format. This is the tool to take over the following part of

2. This site allows users to unfollow Twitter accounts that don't follow them back. This site takes over the unfollowing part of

I hope that this helps :)

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Two Absolutely Essential Tools to Mass Follow in Twitter

Image representing Twitter as depicted in Crun...Image via CrunchBase
One of the best ways to make sure that the word gets out about your product or website is to use Twitter to constantly tweet out updates to legions of eager followers. The best way to get these followers is through "mass following" and "mass unfollowing" users from the millions of active Twitter accounts. Unfortunately, Twitter has recently closed down a lot of the loopholes and websites that made doing this a cinch. Fortunately for you, they missed a couple of websites along the way. Click to read more about two essential websites that will allow you to grow your Twitter account by mass following and unfollowing. Hurry, before Twitter closes these websites down too!

1. This is one of the last of the type websites where a user can log on and generate a quick and extensive list of users to follow en masse. The interface is clean and simple enough to make mass following and unfollowing; although, the website owners are currently updating to a beta version to make the user interface even more appealing. The website also offers mass unfollowing capabilities, but I really prefer the second website for this purpose.

2. This website is like a godsend for anyone looking to mass unfollow Twitter accounts (or even just to clean up the deadbeats on a regular account who won't follow back). The load times for loading even as many as 15,000 followers, the number on my @FutureTwitBlog account, are only a few seconds with a high speed internet account. Better yet, the site will rank the nonfollowers in terms of the accounts who have gone the longest without following back -- a great tool for making sure that you don't accidentally unfollow recently followed Twitter acounts by mistake -- before they have an adequate chance to follow back.

Using these two tools should make mass following and unfollowing on Twitter easier than ever. I personally have been able to add thousands of new users to my Twitter account @FutureTwitBlog by using these tools by doing using these websites in my spare time. Good luck in your mass following endeavors on Twitter.

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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Five Pictures of Sexy Girls in a Halter Top

Are you looking for some sexy pics of a girl in a halter top to steal for your website or for your own amusement? Well, you've come to the right place then! In this post, you'll find lots of pics of sexy girls in halter tops, all gleaned from a really lazy image search in Google. I hope that you enjoy your halter top pics as much as the rest of the guys who will visit my site en masse do. So, get ready for pictures of cute, sweet, nice girls in cutoffs and halter tops. Don't think that I can say halter top again? You're right.

1. Cute  girl in a black halter top:

She's cute, she's in leather, she's in a halter top, and she's waiting for you . . . and by waiting, I mean that she doesn't know you exist.

2. Black haired girl in button halter top:

Look, her button is about to pop off. Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it . . . you just missed it. (Secret: if you stare at her pic for an hour straight, her button might pop off).

3.  Young lady in a white halter with a spaghetti strap:

Here is a test to see if you're straight or gay. Cover up the pic above and then tell me what the pattern on the fabric covering her left breast is. If you know the answer, you're probably gay.

4. Motor cycle chick in a black cutoff:

Would you like to get on the back of a motorcycle with her? Well, if you did, she'd make you a punk for her boyfriend. So, you'd better not.

5. Lady in swim suit halter and straw hat:

What the hell else am I supposed to say? It's a girl in a halter top. Look at her, don't, whatever. I don't care.

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Sunday, December 26, 2010

Selena Gomez sucks some Helium!

Ever wondered what sexy Latina actress Selena Gomez would sound like if she were sucking down some helium before each performance? Check out this Youtube clip for a sample of what Selena Gomez sounds like after sucking some helium. It also features Selena in a very cute dress that shows off her long legs -- a must view for any guy.

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Monday, December 20, 2010

Strategies to Win Money at Full Tilt Rush Poker

A Show Down on Texas Hold'emImage via Wikipedia
Rush Poker from the Full Tilt Poker site is an exciting and fast new way to play No Limit Holdem and Pot Limit Omaha poker. However, what most people don't realize is that Rush Poker can also be highly lucrative, if you use winning strategies. This article will show you the five essential tips and strategies you need to win lots of money and get rich playing Full Tilt Rush Poker.

1. Only Play when You're Clearing a Bonus: Let's face it folks. With the high rake on most low No Limit Holdem and Pot Limit Omaha tables, one of the best ways to make sure you're winning money is to only play when you have a bonus to clear. Even though clearing a bonus can seem painful at times, especially if you play the penny games, the extra money can often be the difference between a break even player and someone who makes a healthy profit.

2. Steal Preflop, play tight post flop: In my experience, people play Rush Poker much tighter than if they were sitting at a normal table. What this means is that you'll have many more opportunities to steal before the flop. If the table is folded around to you, you should really consider opening a very wide range of hands from late position, especially hands that will represent well on a variety of flops. For the most part, the blinds will defend much less in Rush Poker than at the regular tables. After all, why defend Q-10s versus a cutoff raise when your next hand might be aces?

However, if you do get resistance on your hands, make sure that you proceed cautiously. On a normal table, A-Q might be good on a queen high flop, dry board; but in Rush Poker you have to be a lot more careful of overpairs. Also, if you do have aces or kings and the flop comes out with a lot of draw, you might want to check the flop or turn for pot control.

3. Defend with hands that can stack your opponent: Because people tend play tight, you can take advantage and stack them when they overplay their hand. A good way to do this is by playing either overpairs, small suited connectors, or small pairs. In my experience, calling the initial opener, especially in position (as opposed to a reraise) is usually more effective, especially for the low limit tables. That way, if you hit a strong draw, a set, or a flop where your overpair is likely to be good, you can try to trap your opponent into overplaying their hand. If not, toss your hand and move on.

4. Try to resteal from the blinds against late position raises: Because the cutoff and button probably do try to steal a lot more than at the regular tables, you should take advantage by three betting certain hands to try and resteal. Once again, if you hit too much resistance postflop, be ready to toss your hand.

5. Don't 4-bet without A-A or K-K preflop: In my experience, people don't like to bluff much preflop in Rush Poker. If you reraise the opener and you get three bet, be ready to shove with A-A or K-K and toss everything else.

With these strategies in place, your ability to win at Rush Poker on Full Tilt Poker should increase greatly.

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Sunday, December 19, 2010

Funny Tweets: Justin Bieber, Octamom, and more

Selena Gomez-AlexImage via Wikipedia
Looking for some funny tweets from Twitter about Justin Bieber? You've come to the right place!

1. Justin Bieber and and Jasmine Villegas picture: guess which one is the "girl" in the relationship.

2. Twitter: because you just don't care anymore.

3. Octamom: Proving once again that people shouldn't own more kids than they do cars.

4. Justin Bieber and his "Mexi-fever": Selena Gomez and Jasmine Villegas threesome?

5. Why did octamom cross the road? A: to get to the welfare check on the other side.
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5 Tips to Grow Blog to 1000+ visitors per day

Building your blog traffic from scratch can seem like a long and daunting task, especially when you're just starting out. It can seem like hours of effort and work on your blog will only bring an additional 10-20 visitors, and the traffic levels are hard to sustain without constant effort. However, I want to share with you five simple tips and strategies that will vastly increase your blog visitors and blog traffic.

1. Realize that blog traffic growth is exponential, not linear: One of the biggest mistakes that bloggers make is to give up on their blog right when the traffic is ready to explode. The reason for this is that they fail to realize that blog traffic growth is exponential, not linear. Let me define these terms so that you can understand what I'm talking about.

Linear Growth: This means that your blog will grow at a constant rate proportional to the effort that you put into it. For example, if blog growth was linear, for every 100 hour you put into the blog, your traffic might increase by 1000 visitors per month. So, starting with 1000 visitors per month, after 6 months x 100 hours of work = 6,000 visitors per month if the increase in blog traffic is linear.

Exponential Growth: Here, blog traffic will increase at an every increasing rate proportional to the amount of work you put into it. As an example, lets say that, for every 100 hours of work you put into your blog, the monthly traffic doubles. In this model, after 6 months and starting with 1000 visitors, your blog traffic would be 1000*2*2*2*2*2*2 = 64,000 visitors per month, 58,000 more than if the growth were linear.

The downside of exponential growth in blog traffic is that it means that when you're starting out, the growth rate for your blog is going to be pretty slow. For example, if you start with a blog with only 100 visitors per month, 100 hours of work might only increase that to 50 visitors per month -- meaning you won't have much to show for your work right away. However, the key here is that you have to keep trying because the rewards will come, especially when you start to experience the type of insane, run away growth that comes on the back end of your blog. Many bloggers give up just when their blog is on the brink of exploding in terms of the traffic.

2. Use Social Media effectively: The second thing you should do is to make sure that you're using social media effectively to promote your blog. This process has basically two parts: posting your blog entries to social media and making sure that lots of people see those posts.

For the first part, you can use a service like Onlywire to send out each post to a variety of social media services, including Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Digg, Reddit, and more. If you have a large following on Twitter account, you also want to use Tweet Random to tweet out old copies of your blog posts so that your previous work doesn't go to waste.

I've already written one article about how to get lots of followers for Twitter and the other social media services. Basically, the method I follow is: a) follow lots of people and b) unfollow anyone who doesn't follow you back. There are some more tips I explain in the article above, including which internet services to use to easily follow and unfollow from Twitter, but this is the basic idea.

3. Use lots of pictures, videos, and interactive features in your posts: People often forget that the best blog posts have a variety of pictures, videos, songs, and interactive features (such as polls or games) to reinforce the text. Your readers don't just want information; they also want to be entertained. You should make every effort to put lots of pictures, videos, and interactive applets into your posts so that your blog will stick out in the minds of readers and keep them coming back for more.

4. Use basic SEO: Search Engine Optimization (SEO) is something that the largest commercial websites can spend millions of dollars per year to perfect. However, you can make significant improvements to your blog's ranking in a search engine by making small, free changes to your posts.

First, always make sure to include 4-7 search tags in the body of your posts. These tags should be geared around terms that people would look for if they were searching for the information you have in your article. Also, if you can do a little keyword research and try to target keywords that are popular but not too popular (like "Twitter" or "Google"), the results will be even better.

Second, make sure that you repeat your targeted keywords often throughout the body of your post. Since this article is about getting 1000+ visitors to your blog, I need to make sure that I keep repeating the phrase "1000+ visitors" or "blog" frequently enough that the search engines catch on to what my post is about. Obviously, you don't want to go too overboard with this idea and repeat "1000+ visitors" every five words, but even repeating the term as frequently as 10 -15 times in a given post couldn't hurt.

Third, make sure that you organize your posts into lists. Lists are not only easier for people to read, they're easier for search engines to understand as well.

Fourth, make sure that you have a catchy and relevant title to your post with as many targeted keyworkds in it as possible. Search engines place a lot of emphasis on the title of a blog post in ranking the post, and you should always make your titles as specific and relevant as possible.

5. Post frequently: Often bloggers will get stuck in the mindset that they should make one long, epic masterpiece of a post per month. If you're writing your blog for posterity, I guess this is a good strategy to follow. However, if you're writing your blog to attract visitors, you may want to rethink this idea.

In general, a blog post should be 300-2000 words. Anything longer than 2000 words should be broken up into multiple posts.

Summary: Using these strategies should help you to get your blog traffic flowing. Even though it may seem like an ambitious goal, 1,000 visitors per day on a blog is a goal that is both realistic and attainable with hard work and efficient strategies.

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Sunday, December 12, 2010

An alternative to or

As you all probably know -- or could find out quickly by visiting the site --,, tvshack. whatever has been shut down by the government, allegedly for copyright infringement. While I don't know if these allegations are true or not, what I do know is that many of us need to find a new place to watch our favorite episodes of TV and see our favorite spam for Russian mail order brides. However my readers are in luck as I am going to show you another site where you can go to watch your favorite TV shows for free -- at least until that site gets shut down too.

The site is I haven't searched around too much on this site, but so far, I've been able to find the latest episodes of Family Guy, including a very funny Christmas episode.

How long will this site stay up? Who knows, but enjoy it while it lasts.

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Katy Perry -- That's Not My Belly Button!

If you missed it, Katy Perry, the singer extraordinaire, made an off color, dirty, yet funny joke at the end of her recent guest appearance on The Simpsons. To see the joke, watch the video below.

Oh, to be muppet Moe Sizlack!

Of course, The Simpsons were playing off of the old "That's not my belly button" joke that I heard growing up. There are many versions out it out there; here is one (this one from

"Class dismissed!" the teacher yelled but little Johnny doesn't go.
He walks to the teachers desk and says, "Teacher can i go home with you?"
The teacher says "No!"
Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy."
So the teacher says, "Okay."
They get to the teachers house and she says, "Well i'm going to take a quick shower, you sit right here."
"Can i take a shower with you?" he asks.
The teacher says "No!"
Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy."
So the teacher says, "Well okay, I guess."
So their in the shower and little Johnny says, "Can i turn off the lights?"
The teacher says "No!"
Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy."
So the teacher says, "Okay."
So the lights are off and little Johnny says, "Can i stick my finger in your belly button?"
The teacher says "No!"
Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy."
"Well okay." says the teacher, "JOHNNY!, that's not my belly-button!"
"Yeah? and that's not my finger eather!" 

I've also heard a version with a couple the night before their wedding, etc. 

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Saturday, December 11, 2010

Messed-Up Bible Stories 4: Noah's Ark

Have you ever thought that the story of Noah Ark, at least how it's portrayed by a lot of Christians (global flood, 1 year long) sounds silly? Well, watch this funny cartoon from Youtube about God, Noah, the ark, and the flood.

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Friday, December 10, 2010

CENSORED 8,800 PENNIES (For the classroom!)

I thought that I would share this awesome video that I found the other day of a person paying a parking fine in pennies. What an annoying and awesome way to protest a fine!

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My Picture of Muhammad

While watching a video about the South Park episode where a depiction of Muhammad was yanked off the air because of threats against the station from Muslim extremists, I was inspired to create my own artistic masterpiece where I also drew Muhammad. I even managed to do it in the under 450 characters allowed by Youtube. Unfortunately, some internal error wouldn't allow me to post the picture to their comments section, so I decided to post it to my blog instead. First, here is the video clip that I was talking about:

Second, here is my artistic masterpiece of Muhammad:

!!!!!  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  !!!!!!
!!!!!  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  !!!!!!
!!!!!  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  !!!!!!
!!!!!  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  !!!!!!
!!!!!  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  !!!!!!
       !!!!!!       !!!!!!
       !!!!!!       !!!!!!
       !!!!!!       !!!!!!
       !!!!!!       !!!!!!
 !!!!!!!!!!!!      !!!!!!!!!!!!

To preempt a question, yes this is the extent of my artistic ability.

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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Children begging for food -- call to action

I found some very sad videos on Youtube of homeless children begging on the streets for food, and I thought that I would share them with the world so that more people would see them. Here is the first video of children begging in Indonesia:

One of the comments that I found the most regrettable about all of this is when someone from Indonesia said that, in essence, these children are born this way, they will live this way, and they will die this way with no opportunity for advancement.

Here is a second video, this time about children in India begging:

Here is another video from India, this time of children trying to sell crayon drawings to tourists:

If you want to help, the one place that I know you can donate and 100% of the money donated will go to help those in need is the humanitarian fund for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 

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South Park, Transvestite Donkey Witch, Emma Sugiyama, and Why People in Glass Houses . . .

The creators of South Park have been up to their old antics this season again: making fun of everyone and everything that another person would hold in high esteem. While sometimes their antics are a hit or even mildly amusing, sometimes they border on downright cruelty. I think that such was the case with their episode about Sarah Jessica Parker.

Sarah Jessica Parker

To summarize, South Park recently ran an episode where they called her a "Transvestite Donkey Witch" and even made fun of her husband, Matthew Broderick's attempts to defend her in a parody. Now, while I don't think Parker is attractive by any means (quite the opposite), I do question South Park's mocking Broderick for what would probably be his very natural reaction to the situation. For those of you who are curious, here is the original South Park clip.

Obviously, age has not been good to Parker, as evidenced by this recent photo of her:

Yikes! However, when she was much younger, she was at least passable looking, as in this photo:

Better (though still not good).

Emma Sugiyama

For those of you who don't know, one of the creators of South Park is also married to a woman named Emma Sugiyama. When I found this out, I was curious to Google her and compare her with the famed Parker. I know that him and Matt Stone are fine with making fun of the looks of others, but I wonder how he would react to the tables being turned. Obviously, he might be a little more thin skinned. Here are some pictures I found of her.

Not bad, but definitely not the next Gisele Bundchen.

Still, I have to wonder what she's going to look like in 10 or 20 years. Will there ever come a time when she's not that great to look at and the next South Park  makes her the next transvestite donkey witch? I guess only time will tell.

For those of you patient enough to read this whole article, here are some pics of Gisele:

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Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Everything is Amazing and Nobody is Happy

I found this video the other day when I was cruising the internet, and I thought that I just had to share it because it's one of the funniest interviews I've seen in a while. It's from late night with Conan O'Brien, although I don't know who the interviewee is. My thanks to, where I originally found the video. The writer also has some interesting commentary before this video, so you should check it out, if interested.

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Sunday, December 5, 2010

Selena Gomez - Latina Magazine Photo Shoot

If you're a fan of Selena Gomez (definitely one of the prettiest actresses in Hollywood), you should check out this hot photo shoot that she did for Latina Magazine.

I think that my favorite part was when she was answering the question: "What makes you feel beautiful?" She was trying to give polite answers: her family, confidence, etc. I'm sure that her being 18 and being "genetically talented" (curvaceous, low body fat percentage, classically beautiful face) have nothing at all to do with how pretty she feels. Nope, nothing at all.

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Saturday, December 4, 2010

Hot TV reporter-- funny Freudian slip

Hmm, I wonder what she was thinking about . . . Freudian slip! Jack what now?

Philly TV Anchor -- "Shaving off her muff"

TV broadcast stations in 2006Image via Wikipedia
I found this funny little clip from a Philly TV station that proves, once again, there are no dirty words, only people with dirty minds. Watch how a reporter doesn't know the meaning (supposedly) of "shaving off your muff". Is it real? Is it fake? You decide!

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5 Best Starcraft 2 Commentators

Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty start screenImage by Eric Damon Walters via Flickr
If you're like a Starcraft 2 fan like me, then you probably enjoy watching game commentaries on Youtube almost as much as you enjoy playing SC2. However, with so many choices out there, how do you know which commentators are worth watching and which to pass? Here, I give you my list of the 5 best Starcraft 2 commentators.

1 and 2. HDstarcraft / HuskyStarcraft : I put these two commentators together in the top spot because they are clearly the current "gold standard" when it comes to SC2 commentary. Both of them have around 100 million (not a typo) views on their uploads, and both are famous enough to be frequently mentioned by other commentators.

3. BlizShouter: This commentator is a bit less well known (only 15 million or so upload views), but he is still one of my favorites. I personally like the passion that he displays when he casts. Another plus is that he's married (wife and daughter), which I think is cool.

4. AskJoshy: Josh is another relatively less well known commentator (only about 5 million upload views), but I think his popularity will increase as people watch him more. He has a very crisp commentating style and has recently added a cool "picture-in-picture" feature to his videos, which allows him to keep track of two battles simultaneously.

5. PsyStarcraft: If you've ever wanted to know how to play zerg, you should really check out some of the commentaries by this guy. His style tends to focus a lot more on strategy and less on entertainment than the other 4 commentators. 

Update: I also checked out a couple of videos from Day 9 -- another Starcraft 2 commentator. Although I agree that the strategy that he discusses in his video is very helpful and interesting, his commentating style is just too annoying for him to make it onto the top 5 list.

Kerrigan ghost


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