Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Disclaimer: I like Mexico. I like Mexicans. I am married to a Mexican. I like Mexican food, Mexican culture, Mexican history, and the small part of Mexico that I have seen. I am not posting this to be "racist". I am posting it because it is funny.
First, watch this video
Now, watch this video.
I'm throwing in a bonus video that is also quite funny.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
As bloggers, we have an unspoken pact. No, it isn't anything as cool as the Harry Potter one -- though that would be cool -- it's far more sinister (evil laugh)!!!
You see, as bloggers we have a sacred duty, a solemn task , an awesome power, a duty and a calling, a whole wheat on rye . . .
Guess what it is yet? No?
We click on each others ads!!!
Why would one do this, may you ask. After all, isn't that cheating? And, after all, what do I want with a soy cappuccino machine or a blog selling comic books anyway?
My son (or daughter) let me tell you a little story.
You see, once upon a time, there was a company named Google. When they first started out, they provided a valuable service to the internet at large. Because of them, no one had to look in a magazine or use the useless Webcrawler enginefor their website address anymore. Instead, they could just type it into the amazing google engine. All the children were happy now because they could now google their names or look at asian porn to their hearts content.
But, one day, an evil witch called capitalism came and infected good Google with a virus called "greed". Instead of providing a valuable service to internet users everywhere, Google began to advertise. And, instead of being good, helpful advertisements about things people might want to buy, they posted useless worthless crap nobody wanted. All of the people were sad.
One day, future twits came by and told the people how to be happy again. Google, in order to push their worthless crap, had decided to start posting their advertisements on their users blogs -- in exchange for a small "royalty" every time someone clicked one of the ads. The evil thing about it (and why Google is so evil in general) is that nobody clicked on the ads because nobody wanted the crap in the ads. So, Google got rich while the peasants starved.
That's where future twits comes in.
The only way to fight against the Google monster is to click on other people's ads -- kind of like a cooperative. See, if I click on your ads, and you click on my ads, eventually we'll get to 100$ and stupid Google will have to actually send us a check, as opposed to all of us working like fools for free.
If you didn't read all this, I don't blame you. Allow me to summarize.
Click on my ads (and I will click on yours in return next time I visit your blog)
Together, we can defeat the Google empire and make them spend the 14 billion or so they have in cash right now! Don't believe me? See for yourself
On a serious note: I actually always do click on at least one ad every time (or every other time) that I visit someone's blog that has ads. I appreciate the effort that you put into your writing, and I want to support it. And, I want to screw with Google a bit :) Everyone needs latte (or cocoa) money.
Friday, March 26, 2010
I had to post this -- too funny. Unfortunately, the link that you see is from Google Cache; the morons at Yahoo have very thin skin.
Here is the link
And here is the text (copyright belongs to the author, for critical analysis only)
How many yahoo morons work at Yahoo Answers full time/part time?
It never seems to amaze me how many morons yahoo has working for them, full time. I guess the old adage applies here: Misery loves company! What type of work do you think they will be capable of doing if yahoo ever gets taken over by another company? Selling shoes? Cleaning toilets, washing dirty underwear at the local YMCA, sweeping the city streets? You tell me?
Yahoo really does suck. They are the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. Damn morons.
I remember when I used to spam their Yahoo Answers with advertisements for my blog (when I was just starting out). They kept deleting my accounts. Not cool.
This is also my experiment into search engine optimization. I'll tell you all how it goes.
So, in summary, Yahoo sucks. Yahoo morons. Yahoo deleted my account.
Here are a couple of pictures, if you've bothered to read through this crap.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
2. Obama vs. Obama
3. Taliban Takeover
4. Stupid or Evil?
Democrats Vs. Republicans: Stupid or Evil? - The best free videos are right here
5. Playstation vs. Wii
Yeah, yeah, it's a lazy ass post. So what?
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Continued from last week . . .
4. Rant bloggers
Your girlfriend dumped you. Your best friend stole your wallet. Your mom likes your younger sister better. Your cousin is marrying an idiot. Your girlfriend cheated on you with your cousin. Your dad started dating your girlfriend and now she's your mom.
We get it. Life sucks. You need a place to vent -- somewhere to go where everybody knows your name . . . However, do we care?
Not really. We just think it's funny.
Upside: These guys (mostly guys, a few girls) complain enough to make any of us feel better. Also, out of the 5 types of bloggers, these guys put BY FAR the least amount of effort into their blogs. I'm personally surprised at times that they don't just save themselves the effort and copy long strings of profanity to their pages.
Downside: Their strength is their weakness. THEY COMPLAIN A LOT! How annoying this pessimism gets depends on how seriously they take themselves. A blogger willing to laugh at the suckiness of life is cool. A bitter one is not.
Internet, meet your next millionaires. These bloggers have an idea: whether it's to sell online magazine subscriptions, promote an obscure search engine, run up thousands in profit from Google Adsense revenue (FAT CHANCE!) or even selling a book about how to get rich, these bloggers have the world, the internet, and their chumps . . . er, consumers figured out.
Upside: If you do succeed with this type of blogging, congradulations. You've beaten the system.
Downside: Blogs that generate content solely to make money -- without trying to make content that is also worth reading -- suck.
Sorry, but, to quote a cliche, "THERE AIN'T NO FREE LUNCH"
Feedback: What do you think of the pictures I include in the posts? Does it make you want to read my blog more, or are they off putting?
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
5 Types of Bloggers
Ask yourself: what poor sap would spend hours writing a blog entry that (probably) less than 30 people are likely to read?
n In my experience, there are 5 types.
-- A broad category reserved for the women of blogger who revel in sharing their infection . . . I mean infectious love of sex with the other members of the blogging community. Often a self styled “relationship therapist” for other bloggers, a “makeup expert” or “clubber”, these girls (and I say girls because no one wants to read about a man’s sex life) share every real, intimate detail of every sexual experience of their young lives – and throw in a few fake ones for free.
These girls get a lot of readership. Every girl wants to be them; every guy wants to do them.
These blogs are interesting in the same way watching someone peel a wart off their foot with a razor is interesting: you want to watch to see what happens next, but you don’t want to touch because it’s gross.
2. Family Journal
Some people like to take the personal, private moments of life and treasure them in a personal family journal, accessible only by themselves or maybe close friends and family. Others enjoy posting them on the internet for everyone to see. From baby vomit to family vacations to poems about slitting wrists, these women (yes women!) and bratty teen girls broadcast every waking moment of their lives for all to enjoy.
Again, these bloggers get a lot of readers. A woman with baby spit all over her new jeans likes nothing better than reading about an older, fatter mother with baby even more baby spit on her jeans. A teen who wants to cut her wrists because her parents don’t understand her wants to hear about another teen girl who’s parents also don’t understand her and who’s boyfriend is dating her former best friend.
Journalists: nobody cares. They just want gossip and to see you suffer.
Do you have something you enjoy? Do you want to find others who enjoy this something as well? Do you want to tell others about this something anyway, ear raping them over and over with the details until they beg for mercy? Well, hobby blogging is for you!
Even though the readership on these blogs tends to be less than the first two types, the posts tend to be more interesting. Also, at least the guys (and few girls) that do this are passionate about something in life – be it cars, sports, or wine in Napa Valley – and that is always fun too.
These blogs are kind of a one trick pony and are only fun to read about once per month or so. Also, there is little opportunity to expand the blog, so most of the writers run out of things to say eventually and quit writing.
Well, this entry is getting long, so I am going to save the last two categories for later: rant bloggers and get-rich-quickers.
Reader Feedback: Leave a comment telling me what kind of blog you have or what kind you enjoy the most! Are you a “sexcapader” and proud of it?